The Issues in the Tissues Upward Spiral Recording May 29 2024

Transcript

• 01:09Alright.
• 01:10Welcome. Welcome. Welcome, everyone,
• 01:13to the fourth annual Upwork
• 01:16Upwork summer,
• 01:18upper spiral summer summit webinar
• 01:20is honored to see each
• 01:21and every one of you
• 01:22here.
• 01:23And the theme for two
• 01:24thousand and twenty four
• 01:26is about the eight dimensions
• 01:27of wellness.
• 01:29And we are thrilled to
• 01:30have,
• 01:31the great Nikki Myers, founder
• 01:33of yoga and twelve step
• 01:35recovery with us,
• 01:36to share a little bit
• 01:38about her experience. And one
• 01:39of the things we we
• 01:40talked about is how do
• 01:41we sustain self,
• 01:44doing this work.
• 01:45Because we know doing this
• 01:47work is very rewarding in
• 01:49so many ways, but it
• 01:50could be also very stressful
• 01:51and overwhelming for us as
• 01:53well. So it's so important
• 01:54that we find practices, modalities,
• 01:57tools to help us to
• 01:58take care of ourselves
• 01:59as we do this work,
• 02:01which is hard work,
• 02:02within the people and the
• 02:03communities that we serve.
• 02:05Real quickly, my name is
• 02:06Calvin Young, and I'm a
• 02:07certified sound healer and cofounder
• 02:09of Soul Care Love. I'm
• 02:11also the cofounder of TOEIVO,
• 02:14which is a peer run
• 02:15holistic heal healing center in
• 02:16Hartford, Connecticut.
• 02:18But most importantly, I'm a
• 02:19person that's in long term
• 02:20recovery,
• 02:21which means I haven't used
• 02:22alcohol or any other drug
• 02:24to deal with my own
• 02:25mental emotional distress since March
• 02:27six two thousand and and
• 02:28nine. And we we came
• 02:30up with the concept of
• 02:31upward spiral,
• 02:34a few years ago.
• 02:35And the reason for these
• 02:37web series is to it
• 02:38was dedicated to bring,
• 02:40together the peer support workforce
• 02:42to connect, to learn from
• 02:44one another,
• 02:45and introduce and discuss critical
• 02:47perspective,
• 02:48to promote wellness, growth, and
• 02:50advanced thinking and practice among
• 02:52the Connecticut
• 02:54peer support community
• 02:55and beyond.
• 02:56So that's why we've been
• 02:57doing this for over four
• 02:59years now,
• 03:00to really bring in
• 03:02different perspectives around this peer
• 03:04support work,
• 03:05different thoughts,
• 03:07you know, critical thinking and
• 03:09how we can, you know,
• 03:10advance all this work that
• 03:11we're doing here in Connecticut
• 03:13and beyond.
• 03:14And this none of this
• 03:15would be happening right now
• 03:18without,
• 03:19our colleague,
• 03:20our friend, our mentor,
• 03:22doctor Sherrell Bellamy. So thank
• 03:24you so much, doctor Sherrell
• 03:25Bellamy, for all the work
• 03:26that you do here in
• 03:28Connecticut and beyond internationally,
• 03:30and it's an honor to
• 03:31welcome you here and and
• 03:32to introduce you. So thank
• 03:33you so much.
• 03:34And at this time, no
• 03:36other than doctor Sherrell Bellamy.
• 03:40Thank you so much,
• 03:41Kelvin, for that introduction.
• 03:43And I just wanna say,
• 03:45thank you, and welcome to
• 03:47the Upwork Spiral Summer Series.
• 03:50I wanna thank you thank
• 03:51Annette Diaz,
• 03:53Mitzi Sky, Kelvin Young, Shree
• 03:55Bragg, and Rebecca Miller who
• 03:57have been
• 03:58the founders of the Upward
• 04:00Spiral Series over the last
• 04:02four years. We're really proud
• 04:03of this initiative,
• 04:05bringing people together.
• 04:08As Kelvin,
• 04:09mentioned,
• 04:10this was initially brought to
• 04:11us by Kelvin and Annette
• 04:13who
• 04:14were really passionate and wanting
• 04:16to do something more.
• 04:18Like, their question was, what
• 04:20more can we do for
• 04:21the peer community? How can
• 04:22we bring people together
• 04:24across different fields and
• 04:26different areas who are doing
• 04:28great work,
• 04:30so that we can elevate
• 04:31lived experience and peer support
• 04:34and recovery innovations,
• 04:36not only in Connecticut,
• 04:37but also nationally and internationally.
• 04:40So, again, this is our
• 04:41fourth year,
• 04:42and this year's seminar is
• 04:44focused on
• 04:45sustaining self and the eight
• 04:47dimensions of wellness.
• 04:49Before we begin,
• 04:50let's open the space with
• 04:51a land acknowledgment
• 04:53followed by sound healing by
• 04:55Kelvin Young.
• 04:58All land in Connecticut was
• 05:00once native territory.
• 05:02It is our duty to
• 05:03acknowledge
• 05:04that many of the institutions
• 05:06where we work or conduct
• 05:08research
• 05:09are indeed on native land,
• 05:11so it's important that we
• 05:12give thanks.
• 05:14I
• 05:15am speaking to you from
• 05:17the lands on which I
• 05:18live and work, now referred
• 05:20to as Connecticut,
• 05:21on land that was unjustly
• 05:23colonized.
• 05:24These are the sacred lands
• 05:26homelands of the descendants
• 05:28of indigenous people who have
• 05:30lived in Connecticut over the
• 05:31past
• 05:32eight thousand years.
• 05:34It is the unceded territory
• 05:36of the Quinnipiac,
• 05:37Tunxis,
• 05:38Mattabesic,
• 05:39Mohegan,
• 05:40Mashantucket,
• 05:42Mashantucket Pequot, Eastern Pequot,
• 05:44Shattuckoke,
• 05:45Golden Hill, Pugusset, Nipmuc, and
• 05:48Lenape peoples
• 05:49who have and continue to
• 05:51steward these lands throughout the
• 05:52generations.
• 05:55Land acknowledgements
• 05:56do not exist in the
• 05:58past tense or historical context.
• 06:00Colonialism
• 06:01is current
• 06:03and ongoing,
• 06:04process. We need to be
• 06:06mindful of our present participation.
• 06:09I also want to welcome
• 06:10people with lived and living
• 06:12experiences to the space, and
• 06:14I thank you for sharing
• 06:15of your lives and for
• 06:17your collaboration on transformation.
• 06:20Thank you, and I introduce
• 06:22to you
• 06:23Calvin Young.
• 06:26Thank you so much, doctor
• 06:27Cherel,
• 06:28for, for acknowledging the lands
• 06:30that we live on.
• 06:32And at this time, I
• 06:33like to get people into
• 06:35a comfortable position, whatever that
• 06:36mean or look like for
• 06:38you.
• 06:39And we'd like to start
• 06:40this webinar with a grounding
• 06:41exercise,
• 06:42with the tool that really
• 06:43helped me sustain my sobriety
• 06:45for over fourteen for over
• 06:46fifteen years now,
• 06:48which is sound healing.
• 06:50And usually during a sound
• 06:51healing session, I use this
• 06:52Himalayan singable,
• 06:54the crystal singables, the gong,
• 06:56and the different other healing
• 06:57tools to help us to
• 06:58activate and stimulate, the parasympathetic
• 07:00nervous system,
• 07:02also known as the relaxation
• 07:03response, to help us to
• 07:05calm our minds, to relax
• 07:06our bodies,
• 07:07to fill our emotions, and
• 07:09to nourish our souls.
• 07:11And the meditative sounds produced
• 07:12from this Himalayan singables and
• 07:14the different other tools that
• 07:16I utilize
• 07:17during a session.
• 07:18It promotes healing from chronic
• 07:20stress,
• 07:21muscle tension,
• 07:22physical pain that we feel
• 07:23in our bodies,
• 07:24feelings of anxiety, depression,
• 07:27post traumatic stress, sleep issues,
• 07:29and different other stress related
• 07:31chronic health conditions that we
• 07:32experience in our lives.
• 07:34All those different types of
• 07:35emotional distresses I just shared
• 07:37was the main reason why
• 07:38I reached for alcohol and
• 07:39other drugs in the first
• 07:40place.
• 07:41Even though those substances gave
• 07:43me
• 07:44a temporarily sense of relief,
• 07:46it really, really did. But
• 07:48for me and many people
• 07:49like myself, it caused more
• 07:50negative consequences
• 07:52at the end. So that's
• 07:53why I think it's so
• 07:54vitally important for us to
• 07:55find healthier tools to deal
• 07:56with the stresses, the anxiety,
• 07:58the emotional pain that we
• 07:59experience in our lives. And
• 08:01sound healing is one of
• 08:02those one of many tools
• 08:03that we can utilize
• 08:05in our lives.
• 08:06So at this time, I
• 08:07invite you to get into
• 08:08our comfortable position,
• 08:11and I invite you to
• 08:12either close your eyes if
• 08:13you choose to
• 08:15or bring a soft gaze
• 08:16to the floor if you
• 08:17choose to,
• 08:19or you could keep your
• 08:20eyes open.
• 08:22Whatever feels most comfortable and
• 08:24safe for you,
• 08:26I invite you to do
• 08:27so at this moment.
• 08:32And as we take this
• 08:33time to relax,
• 08:36to reset,
• 08:38and to rejuvenate
• 08:41through the transformative
• 08:42powers
• 08:43of sound.
• 10:37And at this time, I
• 10:38invite you to take a
• 10:38nice deep breath in
• 10:42and a long
• 10:43breath out.
• 10:48We'll do this two more
• 10:49times. Take a nice
• 10:51deep breath in
• 10:54and a long
• 10:55breath out.
• 11:01One more time. Take a
• 11:02nice deep breath in
• 11:06and a long
• 11:07breath out,
• 11:12releasing any stress,
• 11:14any worry,
• 11:16any anxiety,
• 11:19anything that no longer serve
• 11:20us, we ask for it
• 11:21to be released,
• 11:23and it is so.
• 11:30And when you're ready and
• 11:32only when you're ready,
• 11:34if your eyes are closed,
• 11:35you may open your eyes.
• 11:43Thank you so much everyone
• 11:45for participating in the centering
• 11:47exercise.
• 11:49And at this time, we
• 11:50wanna invite people to
• 11:52set their intention for this,
• 11:54for this webinar.
• 11:56And one of the questions
• 11:57for this intention is, what
• 12:00do you hope to get
• 12:01out of this event, this
• 12:02webinar today?
• 12:04And you're more than welcome
• 12:05to share it, in a
• 12:06chat.
• 12:08What is your attention for
• 12:09this webinar today?
• 12:11But it's it's good to
• 12:12see all of you. I
• 12:13see some new faces. I
• 12:14see some familiar faces as
• 12:15well too. And we're here
• 12:17to learn from from Nikki
• 12:19Myers and the rest of
• 12:20us, Akia
• 12:21Barr as well too.
• 12:22And I'm so excited to
• 12:23be here. So if you
• 12:24wanna share,
• 12:25your intentions for this webinar
• 12:27today, We'd love to hear
• 12:29from from some of you.
• 12:30And Sherry mentioned I would
• 12:32like to empower my clients
• 12:33of self care. That's perfect,
• 12:35Sharon. Thank you so much,
• 12:36for sharing that.
• 12:38Anyone else like to share
• 12:39in the chat? You're more
• 12:40than welcome to do so.
• 12:49Or Annette mentioned also or
• 12:51what do you want to
• 12:52learn, from this webinar as
• 12:54well?
• 13:04And Mary mentioned Mary Jo
• 13:06mentioned looking for presence during
• 13:09the workday. Yes. Yes.
• 13:12Akila mentioned my intention is
• 13:14to connect
• 13:15or
• 13:17connect our connection to community.
• 13:19Yes, Akila. Thank you so
• 13:20much for sharing that.
• 13:24Mary. Hey, Mary.
• 13:25She said find a time
• 13:26to fill my own cup.
• 13:28Yes. Yes. Thank you so
• 13:29much for joining us, Mary.
• 13:31And they're coming in now.
• 13:33Sharon mentioned, to remember to
• 13:34see friends who are on
• 13:36the same path. Yes. Yes.
• 13:38And you're more than welcome
• 13:39to keep them coming as
• 13:40well too.
• 13:41So thank you so much
• 13:42for sharing in a in
• 13:43a chat your intention and
• 13:44what you'd like to expect
• 13:46out of this webinar here
• 13:48today.
• 13:49And at this time, I'd
• 13:50like to introduce,
• 13:52my dear friend and colleague,
• 13:54Annette Diaz.
• 13:56Hello, everybody, and welcome
• 13:59to our fourth summit. I
• 14:01wanna apologize ahead of time
• 14:02for my camera.
• 14:04It is not playing nice
• 14:05in the sandbox today.
• 14:08So, again, I apologize. But
• 14:10continue to put your intentions
• 14:11in the chat. We will
• 14:12be reviewing them. So I
• 14:13have the honor to
• 14:15introduce
• 14:16my my dear friend, Akila.
• 14:19So I met Akila several
• 14:21years ago. And when the
• 14:23holistic movement came for recovery,
• 14:25you know, it was really
• 14:26hard for me to connect
• 14:27to it. Like, I just
• 14:28couldn't really, like, get into
• 14:29it. And for some reason,
• 14:30the way that
• 14:32Akila presented it,
• 14:34that was where my connection
• 14:36was. I mean, she even
• 14:38was able to get my
• 14:39daughter to regulate her emotions
• 14:42and learn yoga and deep
• 14:43meditation so that she wasn't
• 14:45yelling and screaming. So she
• 14:46has been a huge inspiration
• 14:48and a huge resource in
• 14:50my recovery and my family's
• 14:52recovery,
• 14:53in our community.
• 14:55I've also worked with her
• 14:56in several projects for underserved
• 14:58people, and she
• 15:00when you she really, really
• 15:01is extremely passionate about making
• 15:03sure people don't get left
• 15:04behind
• 15:05and making sure that people
• 15:06have a pathway
• 15:08that's gonna make their lives
• 15:09better than where they are
• 15:10today. So, again,
• 15:13you welcome, Akila.
• 15:15Thank you so much, Annette.
• 15:17That means so much to
• 15:18me.
• 15:20I'm just grateful to have
• 15:21you in my life,
• 15:22and I'm honored to be
• 15:24here with everyone today.
• 15:26And I am honored to
• 15:28present,
• 15:29a fabulous,
• 15:30wonderful woman
• 15:32with the best energy I've
• 15:33ever met in my whole
• 15:34entire life.
• 15:36I'm honored to present with
• 15:37you guys Nikki Myers,
• 15:39who I met
• 15:43right after I took my
• 15:44yoga teacher training in twenty
• 15:46seventeen.
• 15:47I knew that there was
• 15:48something that was not addressed
• 15:50throughout the entire training, and
• 15:52it was my addiction.
• 15:54It was, like, my little
• 15:55secret that I didn't tell
• 15:57anybody throughout the whole training.
• 15:59So I just wanna tell
• 16:00you a little bit about,
• 16:01miss Nikki Myers.
• 16:04Please listen. She is an
• 16:06accomplished speaker and teacher
• 16:08with an MBA at ERYT
• 16:11five hundred, yoga therapist, somatic
• 16:13experiencing
• 16:14practitioner,
• 16:16addiction recovery specialist, and an
• 16:18Ayurvedic
• 16:19specialist.
• 16:21Born from her struggles with
• 16:22addiction and work with countless
• 16:25students. Nikki is the founder
• 16:27and the creator of y
• 16:30twelve s r, the yoga
• 16:31of twelve step recovery,
• 16:33based on its theme, the
• 16:35issues
• 16:36live in the tissues.
• 16:38Y twelve SR is a
• 16:39relapse prevention program.
• 16:42It weaves the art of
• 16:43science and yoga with practical
• 16:44tools of twelve step
• 16:46programs.
• 16:48And y twelve SR meetings,
• 16:50they're available
• 16:51internationally,
• 16:53and the curriculum has rapidly
• 16:55become a feature of addiction
• 16:56recovery and treatment centers.
• 16:59Nikki's work has been featured
• 17:00in The New York Times'
• 17:02Black Enterprise, The Huffington
• 17:04Post,
• 17:06Origin Magazine,
• 17:07CBS News dot com,
• 17:10and countless podcasts.
• 17:12She's honored to be a
• 17:13cofounder
• 17:14of the annual yoga.
• 17:17Sorry.
• 17:18The annual yoga meditation and
• 17:20recovery conferences
• 17:22at Eastland
• 17:24Institute,
• 17:25Kripalu Center, which she is
• 17:27right now, for yoga and
• 17:28health. And Nikki has been
• 17:29featured as a keynote speaker
• 17:32in International Association of Yoga
• 17:35Therapeutics
• 17:37sorry, yoga therapist conference in
• 17:39the International Conference of Integrative
• 17:42medicine at Harvard Harvard Medical
• 17:44School.
• 17:45She was named
• 17:47a yoga
• 17:48journal game changer and is
• 17:51an honored recipient
• 17:53of the esteemed
• 17:55NUVO, n u v o,
• 17:57cultural
• 17:58visionary award award. And
• 18:01that if you wanna find
• 18:02out other information about yoga
• 18:05or why it's all bizarre,
• 18:06you can visit w w
• 18:07w dot
• 18:09y twelve s r dot
• 18:10com.
• 18:11And
• 18:12I just wanted to share
• 18:14a little bit about myself
• 18:16and
• 18:18how just
• 18:19taking that training,
• 18:21with Nikki
• 18:22in Massachusetts
• 18:24has changed my life. I
• 18:25just wanted to share a
• 18:26little bit how that has
• 18:27changed me
• 18:29in regards to emotional wellness
• 18:31and as well as to
• 18:33physical wellness since we're talking
• 18:35about the eight dimensions of
• 18:36wellness.
• 18:37So,
• 18:38emotionally,
• 18:40I've gone through a transformation,
• 18:42a healing process,
• 18:44through the movement of breath
• 18:46work,
• 18:47through
• 18:49why twelve us are, how
• 18:50it combines,
• 18:53you know, breathing and moving
• 18:55movement and how we can
• 18:56explore different processes of our
• 18:58emotions,
• 19:00especially those emotions that lie
• 19:02deep,
• 19:03deep within our bodies that
• 19:04become trapped within our tissues.
• 19:07Just learning those abilities for,
• 19:09self regulation
• 19:11and self awareness,
• 19:13that has been crucial to
• 19:14my development as
• 19:16an embodied practitioner,
• 19:20an empowered practitioner as well.
• 19:23Also, the physical strengthening
• 19:25or physical wellness,
• 19:29by dressing all of those
• 19:30physical manifestations,
• 19:33of my addiction,
• 19:36like my stress,
• 19:37just having those coping mechanisms
• 19:40within,
• 19:41help Y twelve of the
• 19:42SAR helped me to build
• 19:44tons of resilience.
• 19:46The energy, the sense of
• 19:48groundedness
• 19:49that was really needed when
• 19:50I was, like,
• 19:51just all over the place
• 19:52just kept me grounded, kept
• 19:54me connected to mother earth,
• 19:56and just really feeling like,
• 19:58you know, my ancestors had
• 19:59my back.
• 20:01That embodied presence,
• 20:03you know, of why Tovasar
• 20:05helped me to, you know,
• 20:06connect to a more spiritual
• 20:08practice as well,
• 20:10that mind body connection of
• 20:12why Tovasar.
• 20:14And one of the most
• 20:15important,
• 20:17things that I learned through,
• 20:19like, having meetings throughout,
• 20:21you know, Connecticut,
• 20:22whether they be in Hartford
• 20:24and New Haven, is that
• 20:26I can build and connect
• 20:27with community.
• 20:29So that was really important
• 20:30to be,
• 20:31vulnerable
• 20:32and
• 20:33just share my story,
• 20:35hold that really safe container
• 20:37of space for everyone.
• 20:41And I think that is
• 20:43just I'm just grateful. I'm
• 20:45happy to present to you
• 20:47guys again,
• 20:48miss Nikki Myers,
• 20:50and thank you for allowing
• 20:53me to bring you about.
• 20:56Thank you, Akila. I so
• 20:59appreciate
• 21:00every every aspect of who
• 21:02you are and how you
• 21:03bring yourself totally
• 21:05into everything you do, and
• 21:07I'm so grateful.
• 21:08Yeah, so deeply grateful.
• 21:11And thank you to all
• 21:12of you.
• 21:13Oh, my goodness.
• 21:16I bow
• 21:17to this group. I know
• 21:19that you are the ones
• 21:20who are out here doing
• 21:21the work,
• 21:22for real, for real, doing
• 21:24the work, and and I
• 21:26bow,
• 21:27absolutely bow to that.
• 21:30I also wanna thank
• 21:32Kelvin who invited me to
• 21:34this forum. I wanna thank
• 21:36all the folks that I
• 21:38I met earlier today,
• 21:40doctor Bellamy and Mitzi and
• 21:42Annette and all of the
• 21:44folks that, I met earlier
• 21:46today. It takes a lot
• 21:47to put on something like
• 21:49this,
• 21:50and so, you know, I
• 21:52just honor your work
• 21:54and that all you put
• 21:55into this.
• 21:56And I want to go
• 21:58back to what Doctor. Bellamy
• 22:02was talking about in in
• 22:03her land acknowledgment.
• 22:05I'm so grateful. I wanna
• 22:07would love to start there.
• 22:09I'm so grateful for that.
• 22:12Unfortunately,
• 22:14dominant culture often
• 22:17obscures
• 22:18history
• 22:20and and makes some things
• 22:21invisible.
• 22:22They keep them secret,
• 22:24right? And and we know
• 22:26our secrets keep us sick.
• 22:28Our secrets keep us sick.
• 22:31And truly, if our real
• 22:33intention is healing,
• 22:36what has been rendered invisible
• 22:38has to become visible
• 22:40because
• 22:41you cannot heal what you
• 22:42do not acknowledge.
• 22:44You can't heal
• 22:46what you do not acknowledge,
• 22:48right? And that's something you're
• 22:50gonna hear me say over
• 22:52and over and over and
• 22:54over again because it's such
• 22:56an important part
• 22:58of healing.
• 23:00So kind of in addition
• 23:02to to the land acknowledgement
• 23:04that was given,
• 23:05I also love to acknowledge
• 23:08and express deep gratitude for
• 23:10my own ancestry,
• 23:13right, and it's like despite
• 23:16the history of kidnapping,
• 23:18enslavement,
• 23:19lynching,
• 23:20torture,
• 23:22and mass incarceration.
• 23:24What I know that for
• 23:26me to be here right
• 23:28now,
• 23:29there's superhero
• 23:31in my blood.
• 23:33There is absolutely
• 23:35superhero in my blood.
• 23:37And someone
• 23:38in my bloodlines
• 23:40actually survived the middle packet
• 23:42the middle passage.
• 23:44Right? And that means that
• 23:46there's brilliance,
• 23:48that there's resilience
• 23:50right here in my blood,
• 23:52and that's something that I
• 23:53continuously
• 23:55tap into
• 23:56in order to fuel my
• 23:58own recovery.
• 24:00Right? And then I also
• 24:01have to start by thanking
• 24:03my many teachers, and the
• 24:04list is so long.
• 24:06And I'm so grateful.
• 24:08And I'm sure that as
• 24:10I speak today, I'm gonna
• 24:12quote and thank some of
• 24:13them as as we talk.
• 24:16And part of the point
• 24:17in doing that is to
• 24:18recognize that there's really nothing
• 24:20original.
• 24:21Right? Everything comes from someplace
• 24:24else.
• 24:25Every melody that's ever been
• 24:27written or that you've ever
• 24:29heard comes from the same
• 24:30twelve notes.
• 24:32Right? And what I've discovered
• 24:35is that honoring where things
• 24:37come from is a way
• 24:38to be radically
• 24:40honest.
• 24:41And in my own healing
• 24:43journey, what I've learned that
• 24:45there's some things that I
• 24:46have to cultivate
• 24:48in order to continue to
• 24:50heal,
• 24:50and some of those are
• 24:52gratitude,
• 24:54radical honesty,
• 24:56integrity,
• 24:57and humility.
• 24:59Right? Those are things that
• 25:00I must continue to nourish
• 25:02and cultivate
• 25:03in my own healing.
• 25:06So thank you all. I'm
• 25:08so grateful,
• 25:09so grateful.
• 25:11And with with that, I
• 25:12wanna start by introducing
• 25:15myself.
• 25:17So as you see, my
• 25:18name is Nikki Myers,
• 25:20and my pronouns are she,
• 25:23her, and we. I use
• 25:25the pronoun we.
• 25:27And I'm hopeful this little
• 25:29introduction
• 25:29will offer you a little
• 25:31more insight into what that
• 25:33we is is all about.
• 25:36And it'll, I think, take
• 25:37us into this conversation
• 25:40about
• 25:42how we can support
• 25:44ourselves
• 25:46as, you know, we walk
• 25:48through.
• 25:50Kelvin didn't tell me if
• 25:51I could say,
• 25:53I'm famous for saying four
• 25:55letter words.
• 25:56Right?
• 25:57Pretty famous for that. And,
• 25:59you you know, I always
• 26:01say that I I got
• 26:02it from my father. I
• 26:03really got it from my
• 26:05father. So if you hear
• 26:06that, I'm hopeful that it
• 26:08won't offend you in any
• 26:10way. Just know it's coming
• 26:11from this deep, honest place.
• 26:14It really is.
• 26:16And what, you know, I
• 26:17was gonna say about that
• 26:18is the truth is,
• 26:20if we look around from
• 26:22a worldly perspective,
• 26:24we're pretty much in a
• 26:25shit show.
• 26:26Right? It pretty much is.
• 26:29Right? And how
• 26:32do we hold
• 26:33that and all the things
• 26:35that are going on, right,
• 26:37and deeply still care for
• 26:39ourselves?
• 26:40Right? How can we hold
• 26:42that and? That's an and.
• 26:44What's going on is going
• 26:46on, and we have to
• 26:47tell the truth about that.
• 26:49Right? And
• 26:51how do we care for
• 26:52ourselves
• 26:53in the midst of all
• 26:55this insanity?
• 26:57I know y'all know the
• 26:58numbers and the statistics
• 27:01about,
• 27:02people, particularly
• 27:04here in the United States,
• 27:05that are dying
• 27:07day after day after day
• 27:10as as the result of
• 27:11the throes of addiction.
• 27:13I know y'all know this.
• 27:15Right? And how in the
• 27:17face of this,
• 27:20how can we
• 27:22you know, I saw this
• 27:24thing a while back that
• 27:26really,
• 27:27had me rethink
• 27:29some things around this.
• 27:32It was an article, and
• 27:34the article was by this
• 27:36Chinese scholar.
• 27:38And what she was saying
• 27:40in in the article is
• 27:42that the two characters
• 27:44in in the Chinese language
• 27:46that that represent the word
• 27:48crisis,
• 27:50there are two characters.
• 27:52And one of them is
• 27:54danger.
• 27:55Right? And the other one
• 27:56is usually translated as opportunity,
• 28:00but the way that this
• 28:01scholar was translating the second
• 28:03character,
• 28:04she said the better translation
• 28:07for it is turning point.
• 28:09So she said,
• 28:11dane the crisis
• 28:14represents
• 28:14danger
• 28:15and
• 28:16a turning point.
• 28:18And I really like that.
• 28:20The way that she was
• 28:21speaking to this was
• 28:24in this moment
• 28:25of crisis,
• 28:27we can't ignore
• 28:29or deny
• 28:30or pretend
• 28:32or make excuses or any
• 28:33of that about the danger.
• 28:35We're in danger.
• 28:37And
• 28:39the idea that we use
• 28:41our energies
• 28:42and our efforts
• 28:44at this time
• 28:46to create the best positive
• 28:49outcome
• 28:50because this moment is a
• 28:51turning point.
• 28:53Right? And it can go
• 28:54either way.
• 28:55And the fact that that
• 28:56we're here,
• 28:58right, doing what we're doing
• 28:59right here, right now,
• 29:01it inspires
• 29:03me
• 29:03because
• 29:04I believe that's what we're
• 29:06doing. We're using our energy,
• 29:08we're using our time, we're
• 29:10using our effort
• 29:12so that we can turn
• 29:13this around
• 29:14for the best possible outcome
• 29:17for all.
• 29:18Right? And that's really inspirational
• 29:20for me.
• 29:21So as I was saying,
• 29:23you know, I'm Nikki.
• 29:24Right? And and,
• 29:27I use those pronouns she,
• 29:29her, and we.
• 29:30And here's what the we
• 29:33really is all about.
• 29:35I am an MBA, just
• 29:37like Akila said. I'm an
• 29:39MBA.
• 29:40I'm a somatic experiencing
• 29:42practitioner.
• 29:43I'm a yoga therapist.
• 29:45I'm, actually a technology
• 29:47patent holder.
• 29:48Right? Even though the patent
• 29:49has expired.
• 29:51I'm the founder of an
• 29:52organization
• 29:53that's known as y twelve,
• 29:55right, or y twelve s
• 29:56r is the flagship
• 29:58offering of y twelve.
• 30:00Y twelve SR is the
• 30:01yoga twelve step recovery.
• 30:03I'm an Ayurvedic yoga specialist.
• 30:06I'm an addiction recovery specialist,
• 30:08and, and the big three
• 30:10letter word is and.
• 30:12And I'm a recovering addict.
• 30:14I'm an alcoholic.
• 30:16After two relapses,
• 30:19one after eight years clean,
• 30:22and another one after four
• 30:24years.
• 30:25In July
• 30:27of twenty twenty four, if
• 30:29I just make it to
• 30:31July the fifteenth,
• 30:32it'll be twenty four years
• 30:34of continuous
• 30:35recovery
• 30:36after those first
• 30:38two relapses,
• 30:40and I'm so grateful to
• 30:41say that.
• 30:43I'm also a codependent.
• 30:45I'm the survivor
• 30:47of both childhood and adult
• 30:49sexual trauma.
• 30:50I'm a domestic violence
• 30:52survivor.
• 30:54I'm a love addict.
• 30:56I'm a former
• 30:57commercial sex worker,
• 30:59and
• 31:01I'm the mother of two
• 31:02living and one deceased child.
• 31:04I'm the grandmother of five.
• 31:07I'm the great grandmother of
• 31:08seven,
• 31:10and
• 31:12I'm a spirit and soul
• 31:14explorer.
• 31:15I'm a lover of life.
• 31:17I'm a lover of all
• 31:18things related to dogs,
• 31:21and so much more.
• 31:23Right? And I I don't
• 31:25introduce myself this way as
• 31:27what I heard first heard
• 31:29this term from Sonya Renee
• 31:31Taylor.
• 31:32Right? And she said she
• 31:33was talking about how some
• 31:35people do that for inspiration
• 31:37porn.
• 31:37Right?
• 31:38This isn't inspiration
• 31:40porn. Right? I introduce
• 31:42myself this way in recognition
• 31:45that there's a we
• 31:46inside of me. There's a
• 31:49we inside of me. And
• 31:51I love saying all of
• 31:52that in the same sentence
• 31:54connected by that and.
• 31:56That and is very important,
• 31:58and it's really a vital
• 32:00piece of the conversation that
• 32:02we're going to have here.
• 32:03How do I take care
• 32:05of all
• 32:06of those ands?
• 32:08Right? It's a very important
• 32:10piece of this.
• 32:11Because here's what I've discovered,
• 32:13that all of those
• 32:15experiences
• 32:16are part of my beat.
• 32:18And if or when I
• 32:20deny
• 32:21or ignore
• 32:22or I create a pretense
• 32:25around any of the parts,
• 32:27or if I make one
• 32:28part bad,
• 32:30awful, and wrong,
• 32:32and another part right and
• 32:34wonderful and praiseworthy,
• 32:36then what gets created is
• 32:38a split
• 32:40inside of me because they're
• 32:41all here. There's a fissure
• 32:44inside my bee, and that
• 32:46erupts as a as an
• 32:48internal war.
• 32:50It erupts as chaos,
• 32:51it erupts as confusion.
• 32:54And a huge part of
• 32:56this healing work for me
• 32:58has been in reintegrating
• 33:00all the parts.
• 33:03Parts and fragments
• 33:04of myself
• 33:06that I'd left hanging out
• 33:07here, there, and everywhere.
• 33:10Right?
• 33:11And that brings me a
• 33:13little bit into this piece
• 33:15of yoga.
• 33:17One of the things that
• 33:19led me into a deep
• 33:21exploration of yoga is its
• 33:23very definition.
• 33:25From Sanskrit,
• 33:27right, yoga translates
• 33:29into English
• 33:30as integration,
• 33:33union,
• 33:34balance,
• 33:35wholeness.
• 33:38And the split
• 33:40or the fissure that I'm
• 33:41speaking of here is really
• 33:43the antithesis of that.
• 33:46It's separation.
• 33:47It's disconnection.
• 33:50Right? It's all these pieces
• 33:52parts that are everywhere.
• 33:54So part of the the
• 33:56the work that I'm speaking
• 33:57about here is known as
• 33:59as parts work. Right? Reintegrating
• 34:03all these parts.
• 34:04And parts work has really
• 34:06regained a lot of focus
• 34:08over the past several years,
• 34:10and that's has a lot
• 34:11to do with the work
• 34:12of Richard Swartz.
• 34:14That work is called internal
• 34:15family systems or IFS.
• 34:19However, parts work is actually
• 34:20ancient.
• 34:21This is ancient ancient work.
• 34:24I first became
• 34:25aware of this integration work
• 34:28through my study and practice
• 34:29of yoga and and Vedanta
• 34:32and things like that, and
• 34:33that's been a part of
• 34:34my study now for more
• 34:35than forty years.
• 34:37One of the things I
• 34:38recognized out of that is
• 34:40that the divine mother has
• 34:42a thousand names
• 34:44and some of those names
• 34:45are fierce,
• 34:46right? They're all not sunshine
• 34:48and lollipops
• 34:50and candy. Some of those
• 34:51names are actually quite fierce
• 34:54because
• 34:55there needs to be a
• 34:56quite fierce part of us.
• 34:59Right?
• 35:00So what I became aware
• 35:02of is that all of
• 35:04these pieces
• 35:05or these identities
• 35:07or these personalities
• 35:09in me
• 35:11were really in some way
• 35:13or another,
• 35:14they helped me to live
• 35:15and survive
• 35:17on this planet.
• 35:18And truthfully,
• 35:20they're all on team Nikki.
• 35:22They're all on team Nikki.
• 35:24So what
• 35:26I've had to learn is
• 35:27to honor
• 35:28them all,
• 35:29how to honor them all.
• 35:32There is an ancient poet,
• 35:34a Sufi poet, and
• 35:36his name is Rumi,
• 35:38right? And Rumi has this
• 35:40beautiful
• 35:41poem or writing
• 35:43around what we're speaking to
• 35:45here.
• 35:46The writing is called the
• 35:47guest house.
• 35:49Right? And what he speaks
• 35:51about in this and I'm
• 35:53not gonna read it, I'll
• 35:54give you the essence of
• 35:55it.
• 35:56The guest house, it says,
• 35:58this being human is a
• 36:00guest house,
• 36:01Every day, a new arrival.
• 36:04And what he speaks to
• 36:05from there are emotions
• 36:07that arise.
• 36:09Right? There may be a
• 36:10sadness.
• 36:11There may be grief.
• 36:13There may be all those
• 36:14things.
• 36:15Right? But my favorite line
• 36:18in that whole thing is
• 36:19the line where he says,
• 36:21we welcome and entertain them
• 36:23all.
• 36:24We welcome
• 36:25and entertain them all. I'm
• 36:28not making
• 36:29my sadness bad, awful, and
• 36:31raw. We won't it's almost
• 36:33like
• 36:34something I'm really excited about.
• 36:37Right?
• 36:38One of my favorite movies,
• 36:39it seems the older I
• 36:40get, the more my favorite
• 36:42movies are like Pixar cartoons.
• 36:45Right?
• 36:46Right? I don't know what's
• 36:47up with that, but the
• 36:48older I get. Right? Right
• 36:51now, for just to give
• 36:52you a hint into that,
• 36:54I
• 36:56my seven great grandkids,
• 36:58five of them are girls.
• 37:00The the youngest five are
• 37:01girls, so I'm with my
• 37:02girls all the time.
• 37:04And they just inspired me
• 37:07because of what we were
• 37:08watching.
• 37:09The next seminar
• 37:10and coursework that I'm developing,
• 37:13it it comes from
• 37:15if if you got younger
• 37:17kids, I'm sure you've seen
• 37:18this one, from Encanto.
• 37:21Right? And so Encanto said
• 37:24Disney movie,
• 37:25and the song that the
• 37:26kids sing from the movie
• 37:29all the time
• 37:30is we don't talk about
• 37:31Bruno.
• 37:33We don't talk about Bruno.
• 37:35Right? And what they're speaking
• 37:36to in that song is
• 37:38a family member
• 37:40who was dealing with some
• 37:42mental or emotional challenges or
• 37:44some challenges in the life.
• 37:46And the family says, we
• 37:47don't talk about Bruno.
• 37:49Right? And that's what we're
• 37:50speaking to here. We said
• 37:51this earlier. Our secrets keep
• 37:53us sick.
• 37:55Right? Our sick we don't
• 37:56talk about that. We don't
• 37:58talk about that, and it's
• 37:59our secrets that keep us
• 38:01sick.
• 38:02But the movie I'm referring
• 38:03to here about all these
• 38:04pieces parts
• 38:06is Inside Out.
• 38:08Right? And I don't know
• 38:10if you've seen inside out.
• 38:11One of the things I'm
• 38:12very excited about is within
• 38:14the next two weeks,
• 38:15inside out two comes out.
• 38:19Right? And it's the same
• 38:20thing. And they're talking about
• 38:22all these emotions
• 38:24and things that arise.
• 38:27And if I shut them
• 38:28out
• 38:29and make them bad off
• 38:31on wrong,
• 38:32if I shut them out
• 38:34and make like they don't
• 38:35belong,
• 38:37then it's only gonna come
• 38:39back out some other way.
• 38:41It comes out sideways.
• 38:43It comes out sideways.
• 38:46Healing happens through inclusion.
• 38:50It happens through
• 38:52inclusion.
• 38:54And the idea of this
• 38:55is once there is integration,
• 38:59once there is this inclusion,
• 39:02then and only then comes
• 39:05the possibility of the realization
• 39:08that
• 39:09while all of these things
• 39:11are a part of my
• 39:12experience
• 39:13in my life,
• 39:15the truth is none of
• 39:16them really define me.
• 39:19Right? The idea with this
• 39:21is these are all a
• 39:23part of my human experience,
• 39:25and I need to honor
• 39:27every part of my human
• 39:29experience.
• 39:30And I'm human,
• 39:32and I'm much,
• 39:34much more.
• 39:35And that's the paradox.
• 39:38That's the paradox.
• 39:40How do I hold both
• 39:41those things?
• 39:43Because I can't bypass
• 39:46my humanness
• 39:48with anything.
• 39:49Right? I can't buy that.
• 39:51I'm human.
• 39:52I'm in this plane of
• 39:54existence.
• 39:56And,
• 39:56you know, the idea of
• 39:58this is within this, there's
• 40:00the possibility
• 40:01of healing
• 40:02at so
• 40:04many levels,
• 40:06at so many levels. And
• 40:08I assert that that healing
• 40:10goes even beyond the personal,
• 40:13looking deeply
• 40:14into this.
• 40:15It's a way to begin
• 40:17to look at communal
• 40:19healing as well.
• 40:21How do we heal our
• 40:22communities?
• 40:24How do we heal
• 40:25beyond
• 40:26the individual
• 40:28and into
• 40:29the collective,
• 40:30bring in this idea
• 40:32of collective healing?
• 40:35In my work, in this
• 40:37work, in one hundred and
• 40:38twelve SR, part of
• 40:41let me say this,
• 40:42A big part of my
• 40:44healing
• 40:45has been
• 40:46from
• 40:47the twelve step program.
• 40:50Right
• 40:51now, I recognize
• 40:52that there are many,
• 40:54many, many pathways
• 40:56to healing
• 40:57and I honor them all.
• 40:59As a matter of fact,
• 41:00under Y-twelve,
• 41:03we have lots of acknowledgment
• 41:05of lots of different pathways
• 41:07to healing.
• 41:09But I will say as
• 41:10far as my personal healing
• 41:12is concerned,
• 41:14a lot of that has
• 41:15come through the twelve step
• 41:16program and through twelve
• 41:19steps. Right?
• 41:20You know, and
• 41:22my story
• 41:23itself,
• 41:25I understand that phrase,
• 41:27jails, institutions,
• 41:29and death,
• 41:30because really all of those
• 41:32were a part of my
• 41:34experience.
• 41:36The death, when I walked
• 41:38into twelve separate rooms in
• 41:40nineteen eighty seven, when I
• 41:42first walked into a twelve
• 41:43separate room,
• 41:45I could barely put a
• 41:46sentence together.
• 41:48And what I found there
• 41:50were people who really did
• 41:51love me till I could
• 41:52learn how to love myself.
• 41:54Right? I found that community
• 41:57there, and I'm still so
• 41:58grateful for it. And, of
• 42:00course, twelve steps is very,
• 42:03very, very much
• 42:04still a part of my
• 42:06healing.
• 42:08And what I also found,
• 42:10right, with that was, you
• 42:12know, like I said, I
• 42:14I had the first eight
• 42:15years
• 42:17of recovery.
• 42:18My first eight years of
• 42:19of recovery
• 42:21was like,
• 42:23trying to go back and
• 42:25make up for all the
• 42:26time that I've lost,
• 42:28you know, out in the
• 42:29streets.
• 42:30My first eight years, I
• 42:32went back to school. I
• 42:33finished my undergrad degree.
• 42:36I finished my MBA.
• 42:39My kids had been separated
• 42:41from me. So I got
• 42:41my kids back, I got
• 42:43my car back, I got
• 42:44the house back, the material
• 42:46things came back.
• 42:48I started doing pretty well
• 42:51as far as,
• 42:52career
• 42:53and job and all of
• 42:56those things were concerned.
• 42:58And and,
• 43:00all of a sudden, you
• 43:02know, I get into my
• 43:03eighth year eight years of
• 43:05recovery,
• 43:06you know, and I I
• 43:07get this notion, I got
• 43:09this.
• 43:10You know, why do I
• 43:10have to go back in
• 43:11those rooms anymore? I keep
• 43:13hearing the same things over
• 43:14and over and over again.
• 43:16I got this. I know
• 43:17what I'm doing.
• 43:19Right?
• 43:20Right?
• 43:21And
• 43:22what I know today is
• 43:24that that led to relapse.
• 43:26Right? I ended up relapsing
• 43:28in Germany.
• 43:29It took me a long
• 43:31time to get back from
• 43:32Germany
• 43:34to the United States.
• 43:36I finally did
• 43:37made my
• 43:38way back into twelve step
• 43:40rooms.
• 43:42One of the things I
• 43:43realized out of that experience
• 43:45though is
• 43:46we can we can dilute
• 43:49our, for lack of better
• 43:50words, bullshit
• 43:52ourselves
• 43:53in this thing.
• 43:55Right?
• 43:56I thought I'd gotten since
• 43:57I'd gotten all these things
• 43:58back. Right. That this was
• 44:01the measure or this was
• 44:03the key.
• 44:04And what I discovered with
• 44:06that,
• 44:07you know, this comes from
• 44:09this quote as I know
• 44:10it, anyway,
• 44:12actually comes from Malcolm x.
• 44:14Right? And the quote is,
• 44:16once you think you got
• 44:17it, you lost it.
• 44:19Once you think you've got
• 44:21it, you've lost it. Right?
• 44:24That this is ongoing work.
• 44:27Right? This healing
• 44:29healing
• 44:30is is different than curing.
• 44:34Right? Curing is what we
• 44:35often ask doctors to do.
• 44:38We ask them, you know
• 44:39and mostly what that is
• 44:41about is eliminating
• 44:43the symptoms.
• 44:45Right? The work we're doing
• 44:47is different. Healing
• 44:49actually,
• 44:50the etymology
• 44:51of the word healing
• 44:54goes back
• 44:56to holy.
• 44:57And holy, I mean, w
• 44:59h o l I n
• 45:01g,
• 45:02Becoming
• 45:03whole again.
• 45:04Right? Recognizing
• 45:06really
• 45:07recognizing
• 45:08that we already are whole.
• 45:12Right, that our innate essence
• 45:14really is wholeness
• 45:16and joy.
• 45:18Right? And then there's been
• 45:20all this other stuff that's
• 45:22been dumped on top of
• 45:24our wholeness,
• 45:26all this other programming,
• 45:28all this other conditioning,
• 45:30all these other things that
• 45:32have been dumped on top
• 45:33of our wholeness.
• 45:34And what I've learned through
• 45:36the twelve step program and
• 45:39through these processes of yoga
• 45:41and the things we do
• 45:42there
• 45:43is that the job of
• 45:44healing
• 45:45really is a job of
• 45:47subtraction.
• 45:49Right?
• 45:50We're already whole and complete.
• 45:52The job is just chipping
• 45:55away
• 45:56that all that is not
• 45:58really us.
• 45:59This chipping away
• 46:02at all that is not
• 46:03really us.
• 46:05I always think about this
• 46:06like
• 46:07what I was told about
• 46:09the Michelangelo,
• 46:11Michelangelo and the David.
• 46:13Right? That
• 46:14he said
• 46:16saw this big block of
• 46:18of stone
• 46:19and said,
• 46:21you know, I see David
• 46:23in that stone.
• 46:25And Michelangelo
• 46:26said, my job is chipping
• 46:28away all that is not
• 46:30David.
• 46:31Right?
• 46:32And that's our work.
• 46:34We're already whole and complete.
• 46:36There's really nothing broken,
• 46:38so there's nothing to fix.
• 46:41Our job is just chipping
• 46:43away
• 46:44at all that is not
• 46:46us.
• 46:47Right? And that comes we
• 46:49get that in many forms,
• 46:51we get all those things
• 46:53in many forms.
• 46:56I always think about when
• 46:57I'm teaching, I will often
• 46:58show
• 47:00a picture of one of
• 47:01my great grandchildren.
• 47:04Akila may remember this from
• 47:05the training, right? I've got
• 47:07a a picture of my
• 47:09great granddaughter,
• 47:10and I'm holding her, and
• 47:12she's two hours old. She's
• 47:15two hours old
• 47:16and I'm looking at her
• 47:18and I'm looking in her
• 47:19eyes and I'm going this
• 47:20is wholeness,
• 47:22this is what wholeness is.
• 47:25And at two hours old,
• 47:27she can't tell herself from
• 47:29anything,
• 47:31Right? She can't distinguish herself
• 47:33from any she can't distinguish
• 47:35nose from toes.
• 47:38She can't distinguish anything.
• 47:40She certainly doesn't know girl
• 47:43or boy.
• 47:44She's certainly not aware of
• 47:46black, white,
• 47:48of any of those things.
• 47:50Those at that point in
• 47:52time,
• 47:53that being
• 47:55is all in her right
• 47:57brain.
• 47:58Right? And the right side
• 47:59of our brain is the
• 48:01brain where that's is spacious.
• 48:04There is no space or
• 48:06time.
• 48:07Our left brain
• 48:09doesn't even start to come
• 48:10online
• 48:11until about seven months old.
• 48:14From seven months to seven
• 48:16years.
• 48:18It's big development,
• 48:19big childhood development,
• 48:22So none of those concepts
• 48:24exist
• 48:25in that little piece of
• 48:27wholeness is mine.
• 48:28I'm looking at her and
• 48:30I'm looking and I'm knowing
• 48:31this is a little piece
• 48:33of wholeness
• 48:34that has come from wholeness
• 48:36and wholeness from wholeness is
• 48:38wholeness,
• 48:39right? The wholeness is still
• 48:41always there,
• 48:43right? But what happens
• 48:45as we begin to become
• 48:47socialized,
• 48:48we get all this programming
• 48:51dumped on top of our
• 48:52wholeness.
• 48:54Pretty soon, she started to
• 48:56learn,
• 48:56you're a girl,
• 48:58right, and girls do this.
• 49:00Girls don't do that.
• 49:03You're little.
• 49:04There's certain things
• 49:05prescribed to little that is
• 49:07different from big.
• 49:09She learned
• 49:10you're black.
• 49:12Right? And in this delusional
• 49:15hierarchy
• 49:17of things in our constructed
• 49:19society,
• 49:20she learned the hierarchy
• 49:22that there's
• 49:23black, white, male, female,
• 49:25and different values
• 49:27for each one, the delusion
• 49:29of all those things.
• 49:32All of this gets dumped
• 49:33on top of the wholeness
• 49:35that is there
• 49:38and wholeness still remains.
• 49:41Wholeness
• 49:42is still there.
• 49:43So
• 49:44this idea
• 49:46of chipping away
• 49:48all these
• 49:49things that get dumped on
• 49:51top of our wholeness
• 49:53so that we can get
• 49:54back to who it is
• 49:56that we truly are.
• 49:58Right? And so that's this
• 50:00idea, that's one of the
• 50:01things that one of the
• 50:03reasons I love the steps
• 50:04and step work so much,
• 50:07right?
• 50:08Steps four through nine in
• 50:10the twelve step program is
• 50:11where we start to do
• 50:13that deep dive,
• 50:14where we start to investigate,
• 50:17right, chipping away at all
• 50:18those ideas
• 50:20and all those things that
• 50:21may have been dumped on
• 50:22top of our homes.
• 50:25And
• 50:26the other part of this
• 50:27that I really wanna talk
• 50:29about and mention
• 50:31is like some of the
• 50:33things that actually happen
• 50:35in our bodies
• 50:37in our bodies.
• 50:39From its very beginning in
• 50:41two thousand three, the theme
• 50:43of why twelve us are
• 50:45has always been the issues
• 50:46live in our tissues.
• 50:49The issues live in our
• 50:50tissues.
• 50:52Right? One of the things
• 50:54that that the yogis speak
• 50:56about that they they really,
• 51:00talk about is that
• 51:02as humans,
• 51:05instead of
• 51:06of referencing
• 51:08the human domain
• 51:09as as one body,
• 51:12what they speak to is
• 51:13they're actually five bodies.
• 51:16They're actually five bodies.
• 51:18So there's our physical body,
• 51:21which is the body made
• 51:22of food.
• 51:24We really are what we
• 51:25eat,
• 51:26which is why we pay
• 51:27attention
• 51:28to those kinds of things.
• 51:30I've discovered this one. It
• 51:31really hit home for me
• 51:33with an example
• 51:35one of my teachers used.
• 51:37My teacher had an apple
• 51:39in in his hand,
• 51:41and he was looking at
• 51:42it and he said, out
• 51:43here, it's an apple.
• 51:46But the moment I take
• 51:47a bite into
• 51:49that, that becomes me.
• 51:52That becomes my muscle,
• 51:54my bone,
• 51:55connective tissue,
• 51:57all that becomes me.
• 52:00And with that realization,
• 52:03right, that that becomes me,
• 52:05it kind of
• 52:07really
• 52:08shifted
• 52:10my whole my whole organization
• 52:12around
• 52:13food around food because what
• 52:15I take in becomes me.
• 52:16We really are what we
• 52:18eat. Right?
• 52:20And according to the yogis,
• 52:21the second body is our
• 52:23energy
• 52:24body.
• 52:25So when you go to
• 52:26a physician and they take
• 52:28your heart rate or your
• 52:29blood pressure or those kinds
• 52:31of things,
• 52:32they're measuring
• 52:33energy
• 52:34within the system.
• 52:36Right? So the energy body.
• 52:38The energy body is kinda
• 52:39like the electrical
• 52:41current within the think about
• 52:43electricity
• 52:44to move the energy in
• 52:46in in the body.
• 52:48The third body is our
• 52:49thinking body.
• 52:51Right? The intellect.
• 52:53Right? And what's interesting about
• 52:56that and how it kinda
• 52:57gets to that idea of
• 52:58this programming
• 53:00and all the things that
• 53:01get dumped on top of
• 53:02us,
• 53:03the real function of the
• 53:05mind is to coordinate
• 53:07sensory input,
• 53:08what comes in.
• 53:10And the way that things
• 53:11come into this system
• 53:13is through our five senses.
• 53:16That's the only way in.
• 53:18Right? That's the only way
• 53:19in.
• 53:20So the things we take
• 53:22in from the outside,
• 53:25right, the the the,
• 53:29not just from family,
• 53:31but certainly from family as
• 53:33well,
• 53:34but also from culture as
• 53:36a whole
• 53:37also from culture as a
• 53:39whole. We take these things
• 53:41in,
• 53:42they bombard
• 53:44our senses
• 53:46and
• 53:47they become
• 53:48mental impressions.
• 53:50They become programming.
• 53:52They become conditioning.
• 53:55Right? They become these things.
• 53:57Right? So taking care of
• 53:59our sensory body in the
• 54:00way in is another one
• 54:02of those five bodies.
• 54:04So those first three bodies
• 54:06are more outward facing,
• 54:10the other two are more
• 54:11deeply inside of us
• 54:15And one of them is
• 54:16is our character
• 54:18body or our intuition.
• 54:21Right? Oftentimes,
• 54:23you know, we think of
• 54:24of gut sense,
• 54:26the the deep layer,
• 54:28right, from from that place.
• 54:31That's another one of those
• 54:32those things that are inside
• 54:33out rather than from outside
• 54:35in.
• 54:37And the fifth one that
• 54:39the yogi speak about is
• 54:40called the is the heart
• 54:42body.
• 54:43And when we're talking about
• 54:44heart, it's not the blood
• 54:45pump.
• 54:46We're talking about the heart
• 54:48that's the seat of love
• 54:50and joy
• 54:52and intimacy
• 54:53and devotion,
• 54:54the spiritual heart.
• 54:56And what the yogis say
• 54:58is that
• 54:59when
• 55:00those bodies, if there's this
• 55:03sense
• 55:04of connection
• 55:05and alignment
• 55:07and integration
• 55:09between
• 55:10and among those five bodies,
• 55:13then we're walking
• 55:15more in a sense of
• 55:17wholeness.
• 55:19But it also says that
• 55:21when there is any,
• 55:25within those five bodies,
• 55:27disconnection,
• 55:29disharmony,
• 55:31separation,
• 55:33right,
• 55:34then
• 55:35our our our state becomes
• 55:38dysregulated.
• 55:40It becomes,
• 55:43disconnected,
• 55:45all of those things.
• 55:47And there's this wonderful quote.
• 55:49This quote is from TSL
• 55:50the poet, TSL Elliott.
• 55:53Right? And it says,
• 55:55hell is the place where
• 55:56nothing connects.
• 55:58Hell is the place where
• 56:00nothing connects.
• 56:02Right? And and I think
• 56:04about this because part of
• 56:05this goal
• 56:06in walking in more alignment
• 56:10is to really create,
• 56:12recreate the sense of connection
• 56:15and alignment
• 56:17between
• 56:17and among
• 56:19these five bodies.
• 56:21Right? And I'll give you
• 56:22a little example of that
• 56:23if that sounds a a
• 56:25little out there.
• 56:27I don't know about you,
• 56:29but have you ever had
• 56:30a situation
• 56:31where your mind was telling
• 56:34you one thing,
• 56:35but your heart was telling
• 56:37you something else?
• 56:39I don't know about you,
• 56:41but that creates a little
• 56:42bit of hell for me.
• 56:44Right? That's a little bit
• 56:45of hell.
• 56:46Right? I can give you
• 56:48one quick situation
• 56:50from that from in my
• 56:52own life.
• 56:54My I was a caretaker
• 56:56for my mother
• 56:58toward the end of her
• 57:00life on this plane of
• 57:01existence.
• 57:03Right. And my mother actually,
• 57:05passed at one hundred and
• 57:06one. She lived to one
• 57:07hundred and one years old.
• 57:09Right. And those last years
• 57:11of her life, I was
• 57:13a primary
• 57:14caretaker and she was incredible.
• 57:16She was,
• 57:19while
• 57:20while frail
• 57:22at that age,
• 57:23mentally
• 57:24for for almost the whole
• 57:26thing, she was all there.
• 57:28She was all there. So
• 57:30it was just such a
• 57:31gift.
• 57:33One day, I was staying
• 57:35in her house and taking
• 57:36care of her, and I
• 57:38got up early and I
• 57:39was doing the things that
• 57:40I do early, some of
• 57:42the practices and all of
• 57:43those kinds of things,
• 57:45and she never got up
• 57:47early, but I noticed that
• 57:48that she
• 57:50was,
• 57:51was up and I turned
• 57:52around,
• 57:53she was on her walker,
• 57:55she was in a doorway
• 57:57and I turned around and
• 57:58said, mom, what's going on?
• 58:00Why are you up?
• 58:01And she said, I'm just
• 58:03checking on you.
• 58:05And those were the last
• 58:07words, her last words to
• 58:09me.
• 58:10Later that day, she had
• 58:12a stroke in the shower.
• 58:14It was the kind of
• 58:15stroke that was
• 58:17precipitated
• 58:18bleeding in the brain.
• 58:20And, you know, she's a
• 58:22hundred years old, over a
• 58:23hundred years old at that
• 58:25point,
• 58:25we get her to the
• 58:26hospital and the doctor says
• 58:29to us,
• 58:30you know, there's an operation
• 58:32for this,
• 58:33but this would be a
• 58:34difficult operation for a twenty
• 58:36five year old. You gotta
• 58:38really think about it if
• 58:39you would subject your one
• 58:41hundred year old mother
• 58:43to the depth of this.
• 58:45My mother was one of
• 58:46the folks that had everything
• 58:47in order. Right? She had
• 58:49she there was a do
• 58:50not resuscitate
• 58:51order. Everything
• 58:53was in order. So we
• 58:55knew her wishes.
• 58:57Right?
• 58:58But I, as the
• 59:00the the primary person in
• 59:02this family, in this caring
• 59:04situation,
• 59:05there was a a piece
• 59:07of me that was going,
• 59:09you can't cut life support
• 59:11on your mother.
• 59:13You can't do that.
• 59:15Right?
• 59:16Now my mind knew the
• 59:18right thing to do.
• 59:19She had it all mapped
• 59:20out.
• 59:21Right?
• 59:22But there was an eight
• 59:24year old
• 59:25right here in in the
• 59:27center of my heart that
• 59:28was going, you cannot do
• 59:30this.
• 59:31So there was a disconnect
• 59:34in the mind
• 59:36and the heart,
• 59:37and that was a little
• 59:39bit of hell.
• 59:40A little bit of hell.
• 59:42And what I had to
• 59:43do was go back
• 59:46and take care of eight
• 59:47year old, because eight year
• 59:49old Nikki was throwing a
• 59:50fit
• 59:51in there. You can't do
• 59:53this. You can't do this.
• 59:55So I had to stop
• 59:57and go back
• 59:58and take care of eight
• 60:00year old Nikki because she's
• 01:00:01still there.
• 01:00:03She's still there.
• 01:00:05Right? To stop and go
• 01:00:07back and take care of
• 01:00:08her and let her know,
• 01:00:10I got you.
• 01:00:12I love
• 01:00:13you. One of those other
• 01:00:15parts of myself,
• 01:00:16I will care for you.
• 01:00:18I will take care of
• 01:00:19you.
• 01:00:20And then I could make
• 01:00:21the right decision.
• 01:00:23Then I could do the
• 01:00:23right thing.
• 01:00:25I hope this makes sense.
• 01:00:28Right?
• 01:00:28And the idea is how
• 01:00:30do we realign
• 01:00:32these parts so that we
• 01:00:34are more walking
• 01:00:36in a sense of wholeness?
• 01:00:38And that's one of the
• 01:00:39things we look to do
• 01:00:42in the yoga practices, that's
• 01:00:44one of the gifts
• 01:00:45of yoga.
• 01:00:47The part of the idea
• 01:00:49in in the yoga practice,
• 01:00:51what are the reasons that
• 01:00:53for most of the time
• 01:00:55you walk out of a
• 01:00:57yoga practice feeling differently than
• 01:00:59the way you walked in
• 01:01:01is because there's a realignment
• 01:01:04of those five bodies.
• 01:01:06That's why you walk out
• 01:01:08feeling differently
• 01:01:09than the way a well
• 01:01:11sequenced yoga class
• 01:01:13will realign the five bodies.
• 01:01:16Now,
• 01:01:17right, we realign them, then
• 01:01:19we go back out in
• 01:01:20the world, we go back
• 01:01:21out to the parking lot,
• 01:01:22and there's a scratch on
• 01:01:24our car, and I get
• 01:01:25all dysregulated
• 01:01:26and disconnected on this
• 01:01:28line again.
• 01:01:29Right?
• 01:01:30Which is why
• 01:01:32we keep coming back.
• 01:01:34Right? We keep coming back
• 01:01:35just like we do to
• 01:01:36meetings.
• 01:01:37We keep coming back.
• 01:01:39Right?
• 01:01:40Yoga
• 01:01:41teaches us these ways
• 01:01:43in order to begin to
• 01:01:46really
• 01:01:47re regulate
• 01:01:48our nervous system.
• 01:01:50Right, one of the things
• 01:01:51we talk about in the
• 01:01:53What, Two of Us, Our
• 01:01:54work is
• 01:01:55that phrase,
• 01:01:56what we look to do
• 01:01:58in that work is really
• 01:01:59take some of those key
• 01:02:01little phrases
• 01:02:02that you often hear
• 01:02:04in twelve step programs and
• 01:02:07actually turn them
• 01:02:09into, I often call them
• 01:02:11yoga snacks or these little
• 01:02:13things
• 01:02:14that in the moment that
• 01:02:16I feel dysregulated
• 01:02:18or in the moment that
• 01:02:19I feel a sense of
• 01:02:21trigger,
• 01:02:22I can use these little
• 01:02:24tools
• 01:02:25to keep coming back to
• 01:02:27a a place of balance,
• 01:02:30to keep coming back to
• 01:02:31this place of center.
• 01:02:34Because
• 01:02:35when I do that,
• 01:02:37there's a a possibility
• 01:02:40to access
• 01:02:42the wisdom to know the
• 01:02:43difference.
• 01:02:45Right? We say that phrase
• 01:02:46all the time, the wisdom
• 01:02:48to know the difference.
• 01:02:50You know? But I can't
• 01:02:51get access to the wisdom
• 01:02:53to know the difference when
• 01:02:54my head is spinning,
• 01:02:56when I'm I'm dysregulated.
• 01:02:58Right? I can't find access
• 01:03:00to it then. So I
• 01:03:02have to find a way
• 01:03:04to come back to a
• 01:03:05place
• 01:03:06where I even have access
• 01:03:08to the wisdom to know
• 01:03:09the difference.
• 01:03:10And these are the things
• 01:03:11that we teach.
• 01:03:13Right? We use breath
• 01:03:15in order to come back.
• 01:03:16And it's really not just
• 01:03:18breath.
• 01:03:19It's this idea
• 01:03:21of realigning
• 01:03:22mind
• 01:03:23and breath.
• 01:03:25Because when the mind and
• 01:03:26the breath are aligned,
• 01:03:29I'm present.
• 01:03:30Right?
• 01:03:31I'm in the present moment.
• 01:03:33And you know you are
• 01:03:35because you can't breathe in
• 01:03:36the past.
• 01:03:37You can't breathe in the
• 01:03:38future. You can only breathe
• 01:03:40in the present moment.
• 01:03:42So when I'm breathing in
• 01:03:45and knowing
• 01:03:46and align, I'm breathing in.
• 01:03:48When you breathe in, know
• 01:03:50that you're breathing in.
• 01:03:52When you breathe out,
• 01:03:53know that you're breathing out.
• 01:03:55Then I'm
• 01:03:56present. Then I'm I'm not
• 01:03:58in the past.
• 01:03:59I'm not in the future.
• 01:04:01I'm in the present moment.
• 01:04:03And in the present moment,
• 01:04:04there's possibility.
• 01:04:06There's no possibility in the
• 01:04:08past. There's no possibility in
• 01:04:10the future.
• 01:04:11The possibility is in this
• 01:04:12present moment to make a
• 01:04:14difference. So we find ways
• 01:04:17to have people, have ourselves
• 01:04:20and others
• 01:04:21keep coming back to this
• 01:04:23present moment awareness.
• 01:04:25Because in this present moment,
• 01:04:27I get choice.
• 01:04:29I get choice.
• 01:04:31Right? In in the moment
• 01:04:32of dysregulation,
• 01:04:35in the moment of trauma,
• 01:04:38there was no choice.
• 01:04:40So part of the key
• 01:04:41in this is restoring
• 01:04:44choice,
• 01:04:45this idea of restoring choice,
• 01:04:48and we use the practices
• 01:04:49in order to do that.
• 01:04:51And like I said before,
• 01:04:53what we've discovered is there's
• 01:04:55some common places
• 01:04:57in the body
• 01:04:58where things get stuck,
• 01:05:00where the issues really do
• 01:05:02live in our tissues.
• 01:05:05Right?
• 01:05:06One of them,
• 01:05:07you you know, there there
• 01:05:09are many of them. They're
• 01:05:10along,
• 01:05:12lines,
• 01:05:12if you will, in the
• 01:05:13body.
• 01:05:14One of them has to
• 01:05:15do with back,
• 01:05:18another one usually in our
• 01:05:20neck and shoulders.
• 01:05:22The throat
• 01:05:23is a place
• 01:05:24where things will often get
• 01:05:26stuck.
• 01:05:28We speak about how the
• 01:05:30unsaid,
• 01:05:31the things that we don't
• 01:05:32say
• 01:05:33get stuck
• 01:05:34right here,
• 01:05:36right here.
• 01:05:38And in many places, in
• 01:05:39many of the things that
• 01:05:40we do in the practice,
• 01:05:42we work to release
• 01:05:44the unsaid,
• 01:05:46the things that get stuck
• 01:05:47in the unsaid.
• 01:05:49Right? And when they get
• 01:05:51stuck in our tissues,
• 01:05:52they cause
• 01:05:53problematic things in many areas
• 01:05:56and at many levels.
• 01:05:58So part of the practice
• 01:06:00is to this idea of
• 01:06:03creating flow
• 01:06:04so that energy can move,
• 01:06:07right, so that things can
• 01:06:09move.
• 01:06:09And that's important
• 01:06:11because that's the nature of
• 01:06:13what energy does.
• 01:06:15The nature of energy is
• 01:06:17to move.
• 01:06:18When energy moves, it creates
• 01:06:21one result.
• 01:06:22When it doesn't move, it
• 01:06:24creates a completely different result.
• 01:06:28Right? Anger,
• 01:06:29for example.
• 01:06:31Anger is not good or
• 01:06:33bad or right or wrong.
• 01:06:35Anger's energy,
• 01:06:37and the nature of energy
• 01:06:39is to move.
• 01:06:40When anger moves,
• 01:06:42it could create motivation.
• 01:06:45It could create energy for
• 01:06:47us to take a different
• 01:06:48direction.
• 01:06:50But when anger gets stuck,
• 01:06:53when it doesn't move,
• 01:06:54it will escalate. It's like
• 01:06:56the atomic bomb.
• 01:06:58Anger will turn into rage.
• 01:07:00It will turn into violence.
• 01:07:02It will turn that's energy
• 01:07:04that's not moving.
• 01:07:06Anger itself is not bad.
• 01:07:09No energy
• 01:07:10or emotion
• 01:07:12is bad. It's not bad
• 01:07:13or right or wrong.
• 01:07:15It's if it moves, it
• 01:07:16creates one result. If it
• 01:07:18doesn't move, it creates another
• 01:07:20result.
• 01:07:22So the idea is even
• 01:07:24within our bodies
• 01:07:26to create space
• 01:07:28so that there's flow,
• 01:07:30so that energy can move.
• 01:07:32Right? And then when energy
• 01:07:35moves in that way, you
• 01:07:36know, releasing
• 01:07:38the tension
• 01:07:39and all those things in
• 01:07:40our bodies,
• 01:07:42then
• 01:07:43there's
• 01:07:44room, there's space,
• 01:07:46there's space for
• 01:07:48awareness,
• 01:07:49there's space for different choices,
• 01:07:52There's space for all these
• 01:07:53things.
• 01:07:55Woo.
• 01:07:58Oh my goodness. Sorry.
• 01:08:00Right?
• 01:08:02I I really
• 01:08:03my my hope is that
• 01:08:06this will begin I'm a
• 01:08:08say one other thing,
• 01:08:10and then I'm gonna
• 01:08:12I'm gonna,
• 01:08:13open it up, right, for
• 01:08:15your thoughts and your comments
• 01:08:17and your questions and and
• 01:08:19all of those kinds of
• 01:08:20things.
• 01:08:21I mentioned this a little
• 01:08:23bit earlier,
• 01:08:25one of the ways that
• 01:08:26we
• 01:08:27work
• 01:08:28and that we define
• 01:08:30addiction,
• 01:08:31right, in in the work
• 01:08:33that that we do in
• 01:08:34Y-twelve and Y-twelve SR
• 01:08:37is that addiction is the
• 01:08:39disease
• 01:08:40of the lost self.
• 01:08:42It's the disease of the
• 01:08:43lost self.
• 01:08:45Right? And the idea in
• 01:08:46this is that
• 01:08:48anytime
• 01:08:48I look outside of myself
• 01:08:51for something that can only
• 01:08:53come from the inside,
• 01:08:55then I can form an
• 01:08:56addictive relationship with whatever that
• 01:08:59is.
• 01:09:01Addiction is the disease of
• 01:09:03looking elsewhere.
• 01:09:04It's the disease of looking
• 01:09:06elsewhere.
• 01:09:07Right? You know? And and
• 01:09:09and I'll give you a
• 01:09:10little example of this. And
• 01:09:12until
• 01:09:14my my experiences
• 01:09:15and what I assert
• 01:09:18is that until we get
• 01:09:21underneath that,
• 01:09:23right,
• 01:09:24this this idea of looking
• 01:09:27outside of ourselves
• 01:09:29for something that can only
• 01:09:30come from the inside,
• 01:09:32That's the root.
• 01:09:34Right? That's the real root
• 01:09:36of this disease of of
• 01:09:38addiction.
• 01:09:40Right? I was one of
• 01:09:41those that for years played
• 01:09:44whack a mole.
• 01:09:46I played whack a mole.
• 01:09:47And whack a mole is
• 01:09:48this idea, you know, I
• 01:09:50dealt with the drugs and
• 01:09:52alcohol
• 01:09:53that was pretty well settled.
• 01:09:56I dealt with that.
• 01:09:58But then other things started
• 01:10:00to pop up.
• 01:10:01Right?
• 01:10:02Relationship
• 01:10:04addiction,
• 01:10:05right, and sex addiction and
• 01:10:07things like that popped up.
• 01:10:09And then I got that
• 01:10:10one under control.
• 01:10:12And then debtors spending
• 01:10:14popped up, and I found
• 01:10:15myself in all this debt.
• 01:10:17And I got that one
• 01:10:18under control, and then food
• 01:10:20popped up.
• 01:10:21Right?
• 01:10:22So I was in or
• 01:10:24gambling
• 01:10:25will pop
• 01:10:26up. So I was playing
• 01:10:27whack a mole
• 01:10:29for for all these years.
• 01:10:31Right?
• 01:10:32And the idea was that
• 01:10:34I was still looking outside
• 01:10:36of myself
• 01:10:37for something that can only
• 01:10:39come from the inside.
• 01:10:41Right? I always talked about,
• 01:10:44talk about how I had
• 01:10:46an addictive
• 01:10:47relationship,
• 01:10:48for example, with Nordstrom's.
• 01:10:51Right? I had I look
• 01:10:53at that purse
• 01:10:55or those shoes.
• 01:10:57Right? That that was gonna
• 01:10:59complete me. That was and
• 01:11:01then I end end up
• 01:11:02doing the same thing. I
• 01:11:04end up with the same
• 01:11:05feeling
• 01:11:07that I had
• 01:11:08when,
• 01:11:09I I woke up with
• 01:11:10a hangover.
• 01:11:12I get the purse. I
• 01:11:13get the shoes. I do
• 01:11:15all the things. I get
• 01:11:16that.
• 01:11:17And it's hanging up there,
• 01:11:18and I'm going you know,
• 01:11:19I got ten thousand purses.
• 01:11:21You know? And this is
• 01:11:23this one, for example, is
• 01:11:24a big one with Amazon.
• 01:11:27Right?
• 01:11:28And and it's set up
• 01:11:29that way.
• 01:11:31Right? With Amazon,
• 01:11:33you get, like, five dopamine
• 01:11:35hits.
• 01:11:36Right? You get a hit
• 01:11:38when you order whatever it
• 01:11:40is. You see it on
• 01:11:41there. You get excited about
• 01:11:42it. You get a dopamine
• 01:11:43hit. You order, whatever that
• 01:11:45is. You get a hit
• 01:11:46when it ships.
• 01:11:48Right? You get a hit
• 01:11:50when it's coming to your
• 01:11:51door.
• 01:11:52You get a hit when
• 01:11:53you get it, and then
• 01:11:55you open it, you get
• 01:11:56another hit.
• 01:11:58And I don't know about
• 01:11:59you, but if you're like
• 01:12:01me,
• 01:12:02then the other side of
• 01:12:03it comes in. You know,
• 01:12:04I open this thing, and
• 01:12:06I'm going,
• 01:12:07why the hell
• 01:12:08I've already got five Panini
• 01:12:11makers or whatever the heck
• 01:12:12it is. Why did I
• 01:12:14order another one? And I
• 01:12:15end up with that same
• 01:12:17felt sense
• 01:12:19and that same feeling
• 01:12:21that I felt when I
• 01:12:22woke up with a hangover.
• 01:12:25Right? When I woke up
• 01:12:26knowing.
• 01:12:27Right? That same sits
• 01:12:30in my bed.
• 01:12:31And in that instance, again,
• 01:12:34I was looking outside of
• 01:12:36myself
• 01:12:38for something that was only
• 01:12:39gonna come from the inside.
• 01:12:42Right? So we talk about
• 01:12:44addiction
• 01:12:45as healing the disease
• 01:12:47of the lost self,
• 01:12:49healing the disease of the
• 01:12:51lost self.
• 01:12:52Right? And these are what
• 01:12:54these practices help us to
• 01:12:56continue to do.
• 01:12:58So I have spoken
• 01:13:00for
• 01:13:01a long time, and and,
• 01:13:03you know, I'm so grateful,
• 01:13:04and I wanna thank you.
• 01:13:06But I do. I I
• 01:13:07would really love to open
• 01:13:09this up for thoughts or
• 01:13:11comments or questions
• 01:13:13or or whatever you guys
• 01:13:16might have in in relationship
• 01:13:18to this.
• 01:13:24So can I'm wondering if
• 01:13:25we can do that team.
• 01:13:27Is that okay?
• 01:13:30Yes. Absolutely.
• 01:13:31Give us one second as
• 01:13:33we transition
• 01:13:34and,
• 01:13:35to the q and a
• 01:13:36portion.
• 01:13:41Yes.
• 01:13:43So
• 01:13:45thank you so much.
• 01:13:51No. That was that was
• 01:13:52that was amazing.
• 01:13:54You made so much sense.
• 01:13:57So I wanna open up
• 01:13:58to the q and a.
• 01:13:59I don't know if anybody
• 01:14:00in the chat
• 01:14:02there's been a lot of,
• 01:14:03comments, a lot of positive
• 01:14:05comments. I don't know if
• 01:14:07anybody wants to unmute themselves
• 01:14:09or raise their hand,
• 01:14:11so we can ask any
• 01:14:13questions to Nikki.
• 01:14:14Alright. Sharon.
• 01:14:17I was gonna say you're
• 01:14:18a powerful woman,
• 01:14:19and I
• 01:14:21applaud you with all my
• 01:14:22heart and soul. And I
• 01:14:23didn't even think about
• 01:14:25the different kind of, I
• 01:14:26I did think about the
• 01:14:27addiction and how I I
• 01:14:28always said to my class,
• 01:14:29addiction doesn't discriminate. It doesn't
• 01:14:31matter where you come from.
• 01:14:31It doesn't matter who you
• 01:14:32are. It will get you,
• 01:14:34and it, it's heartbreaking to
• 01:14:36us. So I work with
• 01:14:37single dads,
• 01:14:38LGBT
• 01:14:39community and primary caregivers who
• 01:14:41go through substance use or
• 01:14:42recovery.
• 01:14:44Recovery is different for everyone,
• 01:14:45and so is addiction. And
• 01:14:47I am
• 01:14:48I have I I love
• 01:14:50that pronoun,
• 01:14:51she, her, and we.
• 01:14:54If I if I can
• 01:14:55have ask permission to use
• 01:14:56it, I would love to
• 01:14:57use it.
• 01:14:59Because Go right ahead. Go
• 01:15:01right ahead.
• 01:15:03I I I've been like
• 01:15:04like, we all have, we
• 01:15:06all have our stories. And
• 01:15:07I just wanna say you
• 01:15:08are a powerful woman, and
• 01:15:09you are such a an
• 01:15:10inspiration.
• 01:15:11And I appreciate you so
• 01:15:12much and everyone in this
• 01:15:13room.
• 01:15:15Thank you so much for
• 01:15:17this webinar.
• 01:15:18Thank you, Sharon. Thank you.
• 01:15:20And I honor the work
• 01:15:22you're doing. Right? I honor
• 01:15:24the work you're doing.
• 01:15:29Yes.
• 01:15:30Anyone else questions?
• 01:15:31Go scroll the bar here.
• 01:15:35I could not find the
• 01:15:36the hand that goes up.
• 01:15:37I would Go go ahead,
• 01:15:39mama.
• 01:15:40Oh my goodness, Nikki.
• 01:15:43I look horrible. I had
• 01:15:44to I I just have
• 01:15:45to take a moment to
• 01:15:46thank you so much. This
• 01:15:48was
• 01:15:50life changing,
• 01:15:51and it broke a lot
• 01:15:53of,
• 01:15:54patterns for me that I
• 01:15:55always feel delusional talking about.
• 01:16:00During COVID,
• 01:16:01life just just gave me
• 01:16:03a lot of revelations.
• 01:16:05I know that I have
• 01:16:06a lot of colleagues on
• 01:16:07here. I don't really care.
• 01:16:08But the bottom line for
• 01:16:09me is that I have
• 01:16:10to show up as my
• 01:16:11authentic self
• 01:16:13since COVID. But before then,
• 01:16:14I was not showing up
• 01:16:15nowhere as the true Anna.
• 01:16:18Not at my own dinner
• 01:16:19table, not at my own
• 01:16:20family, not at church, not
• 01:16:21at work, not anywhere.
• 01:16:23I'm a sex trafficking survivor
• 01:16:25and human trafficking survivor, and
• 01:16:26I tell you that that
• 01:16:28secret
• 01:16:28has almost killed me. I
• 01:16:30gave myself a cardiomyopathy.
• 01:16:32I had all kinds of
• 01:16:34diseases unknown. I almost died,
• 01:16:36almost to leave, like, my
• 01:16:37six year old without a
• 01:16:38mom and her sister.
• 01:16:42All these injustices and all
• 01:16:43these things that happen, but
• 01:16:45the biggest thing is, like,
• 01:16:46on top of all the
• 01:16:47trauma that you get from
• 01:16:49childhood,
• 01:16:49the family members that are
• 01:16:51with you that are broken
• 01:16:52in themselves, you can't you
• 01:16:53can't teach them. I'm a
• 01:16:54former hooker, so I can't
• 01:16:55teach them where their brokenness
• 01:16:56is coming from. Right?
• 01:16:58And, also, they expect this
• 01:17:00perfection
• 01:17:01from you. Like, why is
• 01:17:02this so hard for you
• 01:17:03or why you know, this
• 01:17:05blame and attack that continues
• 01:17:07to perpetuate
• 01:17:08the brokenness of the self.
• 01:17:10And I have never in
• 01:17:11my life and I've done
• 01:17:12a lot of the self
• 01:17:13work. Thank thank God in
• 01:17:14my ancestors. I have.
• 01:17:16But I've never in my
• 01:17:18life sat anywhere where I
• 01:17:20heard
• 01:17:21so much truth and power
• 01:17:23and realness come out of
• 01:17:25somebody, and I wanted to
• 01:17:26honor you and thank you
• 01:17:27for that. Thank you.
• 01:17:29Wow. And I wanna honor
• 01:17:31and thank you.
• 01:17:32Oh my goodness.
• 01:17:35Right?
• 01:17:36And holding that and day
• 01:17:38by day by day, just
• 01:17:40putting one foot in front
• 01:17:41of the other, doing the
• 01:17:43next good, right, honest thing,
• 01:17:45and doing the deal in
• 01:17:48the work that that you're
• 01:17:49doing with yourself,
• 01:17:51your family,
• 01:17:52and with all these others.
• 01:17:55Right?
• 01:17:56I,
• 01:17:57I'm feeling you heart to
• 01:17:59heart.
• 01:18:00Heart to heart. Right? And
• 01:18:02and just honoring the person
• 01:18:04that you are.
• 01:18:05Thank you.
• 01:18:06And I could do it
• 01:18:07without crying, but not with
• 01:18:09you. Thank you so much.
• 01:18:14Awesome.
• 01:18:17Wow.
• 01:18:18Anyone else have any questions
• 01:18:21or comments or wanna share?
• 01:18:23Annette, I see, Noreen hand
• 01:18:26Noreen Kelly hand went up
• 01:18:27first and then Patrick Casey.
• 01:18:28Okay. Thank you. Noreen Go
• 01:18:30ahead, Noreen. Yep. Thank you,
• 01:18:32Mitsy. I gotta change this
• 01:18:33view.
• 01:18:40Good afternoon, everyone. My name
• 01:18:41is Noreen Kelly, and I
• 01:18:43agreed that you in my
• 01:18:44native language,
• 01:18:46Navajo.
• 01:18:48And I am from Gallup,
• 01:18:50New Mexico.
• 01:18:51And
• 01:18:52I
• 01:18:54I feel that this is
• 01:18:55the most raw
• 01:18:58kind
• 01:19:00of counseling
• 01:19:01and
• 01:19:02support
• 01:19:03that we need to be
• 01:19:05able to share with other
• 01:19:07people.
• 01:19:08And there's no,
• 01:19:10boundaries
• 01:19:12of how we are healing.
• 01:19:14And
• 01:19:15it seems to me that
• 01:19:17we're not holding back on
• 01:19:18anything
• 01:19:20of how we're healing.
• 01:19:22I'm,
• 01:19:23a child of ACEs,
• 01:19:25and it took me
• 01:19:26over forty years to,
• 01:19:29come face to face with
• 01:19:31it and call it,
• 01:19:34and and
• 01:19:37something that it's a stumbling
• 01:19:39block in my life for
• 01:19:41over forty years.
• 01:19:43And I thank you for
• 01:19:45everyone for sharing, and Anna,
• 01:19:48thank you for sharing as
• 01:19:49well. And thank you, Nikki,
• 01:19:51for
• 01:19:52having this,
• 01:19:54amazing
• 01:19:56session.
• 01:19:57Thank you.
• 01:19:58Thank you, Noreen.
• 01:20:00Thank you so much.
• 01:20:01And, you know, we said
• 01:20:03it on the first thing:
• 01:20:04our secrets keep us sick.
• 01:20:06Right? Our secrets keep us
• 01:20:08sick.
• 01:20:09And, you know, like I
• 01:20:10was saying earlier, for me,
• 01:20:12this recognition that
• 01:20:14all of these pieces,
• 01:20:16they're really all on team
• 01:20:17Nikki.
• 01:20:19They
• 01:20:19really, really are.
• 01:20:21You know, in twelve step
• 01:20:22program, we talk about the
• 01:20:24committee.
• 01:20:25Right? That there's a committee
• 01:20:27up here.
• 01:20:28Part of the idea is
• 01:20:29how can we have that
• 01:20:30committee work in harmony?
• 01:20:33Right? How can we have
• 01:20:35it work in harmony?
• 01:20:37And there are ways to
• 01:20:38do that, right? And like
• 01:20:40I said before, healing happens
• 01:20:41to inclusion.
• 01:20:43I had made parts of
• 01:20:45myself bad, awful, and wrong,
• 01:20:47and there were parts that
• 01:20:48I would never talk about,
• 01:20:50and there were parts where,
• 01:20:51you know, I I would
• 01:20:53just,
• 01:20:54there's no
• 01:20:55way. There's no way.
• 01:20:57And and that doesn't happen
• 01:20:58today.
• 01:21:00Right? It's to honor and
• 01:21:02welcome and integrate all the
• 01:21:04parts because they really are
• 01:21:06all on team Nikki.
• 01:21:08One of the things that
• 01:21:09I discovered
• 01:21:10was that while I don't
• 01:21:12have to be in that
• 01:21:14behavior
• 01:21:15anymore,
• 01:21:16There were some characteristics
• 01:21:19and some really, really cool
• 01:21:21things
• 01:21:22about the Nikki that was
• 01:21:24in commercial sex work,
• 01:21:27right, that served me. That
• 01:21:28girl was fierce.
• 01:21:31That girl was bold.
• 01:21:34That girl was all of
• 01:21:35that. And that helps me
• 01:21:37in my work in the
• 01:21:38world today.
• 01:21:40I don't have the same
• 01:21:41behavior,
• 01:21:42but I can use those
• 01:21:44qualities
• 01:21:45to support what is most
• 01:21:47important
• 01:21:48to me today. And that's
• 01:21:49been part of the answer.
• 01:21:51When I made her bad
• 01:21:53off on wrong,
• 01:21:54I mean, she started coming
• 01:21:56out sideways,
• 01:21:57she started coming out in
• 01:21:59all these crazy ways,
• 01:22:01Right? And to to integrate
• 01:22:04her into the fold
• 01:22:06has made all the difference
• 01:22:07in the world.
• 01:22:08Right?
• 01:22:09I love and honor her.
• 01:22:12Right?
• 01:22:13Mhmm.
• 01:22:16I love that, Nikki. I,
• 01:22:17I'm gonna jump the gun
• 01:22:18here. I, I had I
• 01:22:20had my hand raised up,
• 01:22:21but, my name is Patrick
• 01:22:22Casey. I, I just appreciated
• 01:22:25so much, you guys hosting
• 01:22:26this and and sharing and
• 01:22:28everything. And,
• 01:22:29I I really think you're
• 01:22:31you're spot on in that,
• 01:22:33you know, kind of part
• 01:22:34where you're talking about just
• 01:22:35accepting ourselves kind of, you
• 01:22:37know, holistically
• 01:22:39and and really every every
• 01:22:40part of it. And,
• 01:22:42like you said, not kinda
• 01:22:43picking and choosing the, you
• 01:22:45know, the parts that look
• 01:22:46good or feel good to
• 01:22:47us at at the time
• 01:22:48because really, like you said
• 01:22:49as well, like, they they're
• 01:22:51all parts of
• 01:22:52what what make us kind
• 01:22:54of valuable and and even
• 01:22:55kind of, you know, what
• 01:22:56we may think are are
• 01:22:58kinda ugly parts may be,
• 01:22:59you know, very kind of,
• 01:23:01you know, instrumental
• 01:23:03in in other spaces and
• 01:23:04and helpful to a lot
• 01:23:05of people as well when
• 01:23:07we can,
• 01:23:08share our vulnerabilities
• 01:23:09and,
• 01:23:10you know, and really just
• 01:23:11our our humanity. Right? Like,
• 01:23:13I think that's,
• 01:23:15you know, that's especially what
• 01:23:16I what I'm picking up
• 01:23:17a lot on from, you
• 01:23:18know, even, you know, Anna,
• 01:23:19you know, god bless you
• 01:23:20from, you know, just sharing
• 01:23:22a little bit of of
• 01:23:23what you had in in
• 01:23:24your emotions. Like, I think
• 01:23:25we we all kinda feel
• 01:23:27that. Right? Like, there's just
• 01:23:28been such a process of
• 01:23:29of coming around to, you
• 01:23:31know, to loving ourselves, you
• 01:23:33know, completely and and showing
• 01:23:34up authentically,
• 01:23:36you know, as as much
• 01:23:37as we can. We can
• 01:23:38never we can never get
• 01:23:39it all right. Right? But,
• 01:23:40like, we, you know, we
• 01:23:41can do, you know, we
• 01:23:42can do what we can,
• 01:23:43and
• 01:23:45I just appreciate, like, you
• 01:23:46guys kind of bringing awareness
• 01:23:47to to sort of what
• 01:23:49I think is kind of
• 01:23:49like the the root cause
• 01:23:51of a lot of addiction
• 01:23:52and a lot of, you
• 01:23:53know, substance use issues, which
• 01:23:55is just that inability to
• 01:23:56accept, you know, all parts
• 01:23:58of yourself and and to
• 01:23:59really, you know, be able
• 01:24:01to sit with the parts
• 01:24:02of yourself that that may
• 01:24:04not make you feel good,
• 01:24:05you know, and and kinda
• 01:24:06reconciling that. Because I think,
• 01:24:08you know, at least for
• 01:24:09me, that was
• 01:24:10just a huge, huge part
• 01:24:11of of kinda my healing
• 01:24:13process. And,
• 01:24:14I think now being able
• 01:24:15to, you know, to share
• 01:24:17our vulnerabilities,
• 01:24:17even, you know, crying and
• 01:24:19and showing our emotions. Like,
• 01:24:20I think that's important for,
• 01:24:22for people these days that
• 01:24:24that can be a little
• 01:24:25bit cagey with our, you
• 01:24:26know, with our emotions and
• 01:24:28and our our stories when,
• 01:24:30you know, sharing is is
• 01:24:32so powerful. We can we
• 01:24:33can really impact a lot
• 01:24:34of people that that may
• 01:24:36need help with with kind
• 01:24:37of our stories. And, so
• 01:24:39I just, again, just wanted
• 01:24:40to say thank you guys
• 01:24:41so much
• 01:24:42for for kind of putting
• 01:24:43this on, and thank you
• 01:24:45for everybody also showing up
• 01:24:46and, you know, kind of,
• 01:24:48you know, the community aspect
• 01:24:49of this is is really,
• 01:24:51like, so lovely to see.
• 01:24:52And,
• 01:24:53I think, you know, again,
• 01:24:54this is this is kinda
• 01:24:55how we all come together
• 01:24:56to kinda make the world
• 01:24:58a better place. So,
• 01:24:59yeah, just appreciate everyone.
• 01:25:02Thank you, Patrick. Thank you
• 01:25:03so much. And you you're
• 01:25:05so right. Right?
• 01:25:07You you know, that little
• 01:25:08example I had to give,
• 01:25:09I had to talk I
• 01:25:11had to ask eight year
• 01:25:12old Nikki what she needed.
• 01:25:14Right? What she and this
• 01:25:16was just a a piece
• 01:25:18of me that didn't wanna
• 01:25:20be abandoned again.
• 01:25:23Uh-huh.
• 01:25:24Didn't want that to have
• 01:25:25to happen again. So I
• 01:25:26had to ensure her
• 01:25:29that I wasn't gonna abandon
• 01:25:30her, you know, that I
• 01:25:32was gonna be there with
• 01:25:33her. Right? Those parts that
• 01:25:35are acting out like that,
• 01:25:37I've I've learned
• 01:25:39that I have to ask
• 01:25:40them what is it that
• 01:25:43that you need? What do
• 01:25:44you need?
• 01:25:45Right? How can I include
• 01:25:47you? What is it that
• 01:25:49you need? Those kinds of
• 01:25:50things. So I really appreciate
• 01:25:53your your,
• 01:25:55comments here. Thank you.
• 01:25:58Alright. We have Warren
• 01:26:00Bush next.
• 01:26:05Hello. Hello.
• 01:26:09Nikki, wow. I mean, wow.
• 01:26:12You know, that
• 01:26:14was so moving and inspiring.
• 01:26:17I tell you what.
• 01:26:19Thank you.
• 01:26:21You know, I'm very new
• 01:26:23to this.
• 01:26:25You might have saw in
• 01:26:26chat. We I just graduated
• 01:26:28with Patrick who just spoke.
• 01:26:31So,
• 01:26:33this is my first class
• 01:26:34outside of it.
• 01:26:36But what I did learn,
• 01:26:40I'm just very excited to
• 01:26:41learn more about the the
• 01:26:43everything holistic. But,
• 01:26:46moving
• 01:26:47that energy
• 01:26:50out, you know,
• 01:26:53that's very that's key,
• 01:26:56especially you hit it with
• 01:26:57the anger. That's that's gotta
• 01:26:59keep it moving,
• 01:27:01because it can turn into,
• 01:27:03what'd you say, rage. You
• 01:27:04know?
• 01:27:05So I'm
• 01:27:06I really look forward to
• 01:27:08learning more in classes and
• 01:27:09how to run some of
• 01:27:11these classes
• 01:27:12with the with the drum
• 01:27:14circles and and,
• 01:27:18just everything.
• 01:27:19So I'm
• 01:27:20really kind of laying back
• 01:27:22and
• 01:27:23observing and and and and
• 01:27:25listening to everybody else speak.
• 01:27:29But I just wanted to
• 01:27:30come in and say hello
• 01:27:31and thank you.
• 01:27:33That
• 01:27:34was that was something else,
• 01:27:36I'll tell you.
• 01:27:37One of the strongest,
• 01:27:39shares I've I've heard
• 01:27:42Pretty much.
• 01:27:44Thank you.
• 01:27:45Thank you. Thank you so
• 01:27:47much. I love it.
• 01:27:49I love it. Alright. So
• 01:27:51we actually have to we
• 01:27:52have to I have to
• 01:27:53pass it to Mitzi to,
• 01:27:55to go to the next
• 01:27:56section, but please check-in the
• 01:27:57chat if you guys can
• 01:27:59complete the quad quadrant survey
• 01:28:01for us.
• 01:28:03You you you know, Annette,
• 01:28:04I see two more hands
• 01:28:05up. So I know. I
• 01:28:07know she asked me to
• 01:28:08pass it to you. So
• 01:28:10Okay. But it's it's two
• 01:28:11thirty. Okay. Alright. Good. Alright.
• 01:28:13So I just wanna do
• 01:28:14the last two hands that
• 01:28:15are up, and then I'll
• 01:28:16I'll go on. Alright.
• 01:28:18These are really good questions,
• 01:28:19and I I know. I
• 01:28:20know. I know. So, doctor
• 01:28:22Monica
• 01:28:23Clark, could you would you,
• 01:28:25you could go ahead and
• 01:28:25unmute yourself and
• 01:28:27Thank you.
• 01:28:29I just wanted to say
• 01:28:30thank you for holding this
• 01:28:32space.
• 01:28:34To the Yale team, I
• 01:28:35thank you guys for everything
• 01:28:36that you guys are doing
• 01:28:37on the forefront.
• 01:28:39And I also wanna say,
• 01:28:41doctor Myers, I am your
• 01:28:43seed that is planted in
• 01:28:44Mercer County,
• 01:28:46and I cannot stop talking
• 01:28:48enough about the importance of
• 01:28:50y twelve s r.
• 01:28:51I love sitting under your
• 01:28:53tutelage.
• 01:28:55And I just wanna say
• 01:28:56to everyone here today, thank
• 01:28:58you all for all of
• 01:28:59us being able to create
• 01:29:00space and hold space for
• 01:29:02each other.
• 01:29:03And this is the kind
• 01:29:04of healing,
• 01:29:06sessions that need to go
• 01:29:08on more, especially for us
• 01:29:09as the,
• 01:29:10the practitioners and the caretakers.
• 01:29:12We talk about that care
• 01:29:14compassion fatigue and holding space
• 01:29:16for others, but
• 01:29:18not forgetting to hold space
• 01:29:19for ourselves. So today, I
• 01:29:21could not wait until one
• 01:29:23o'clock to get in because
• 01:29:25I just knew the vibes
• 01:29:26were going to be much
• 01:29:28needed to sustain me throughout
• 01:29:29the day. So I thank
• 01:29:30you all.
• 01:29:31That's all I had to
• 01:29:31say.
• 01:29:32Thank you. Thanks. Thank you.
• 01:29:34Thank you. Thank you. I
• 01:29:36love it. I love it.
• 01:29:38We got Robert next for
• 01:29:39CCAR. Right?
• 01:29:41Yes. Good afternoon, everyone.
• 01:29:44Here in Waterbury, and we
• 01:29:45have a couple young, young
• 01:29:47men here as volunteers that
• 01:29:48would like to say something.
• 01:29:51Go ahead, Anthony. My name
• 01:29:52is Anthony. I would like
• 01:29:53to say thank you for
• 01:29:54your input and your insight.
• 01:29:56It was very insightful. I
• 01:29:58just wanna say thank you
• 01:29:59again. I'll pass it on.
• 01:30:02That's another one. My name
• 01:30:03is Alex. I would like
• 01:30:04to say thank you for
• 01:30:05your story. It is very
• 01:30:07inspirational,
• 01:30:08gives me a lot more
• 01:30:09perspective on recovery and what
• 01:30:11it takes.
• 01:30:13Oh,
• 01:30:14thank you. Thank you all.
• 01:30:16Thank you so much.
• 01:30:19One day at a time.
• 01:30:21One step at a time.
• 01:30:23Mhmm.
• 01:30:25Alright. Thank you, everyone. Oh,
• 01:30:27you know,
• 01:30:28so now we
• 01:30:32at the end, the,
• 01:30:34how will you
• 01:30:35here's a question,
• 01:30:38to think about. How will
• 01:30:39you incorporate what you learned
• 01:30:41today
• 01:30:42into your peer support
• 01:30:44lived experience? You could write
• 01:30:46it in the chat.
• 01:31:14Here we go. I put
• 01:31:15it in the chat.
• 01:31:18Oh, okay. How will you
• 01:31:19okay. Thank you for putting
• 01:31:20it in the chat. You're
• 01:31:22welcome. You got one already.
• 01:31:23Let's see.
• 01:31:24K. Alright. So,
• 01:31:26Brenda says,
• 01:31:28more self
• 01:31:29care for myself, and Sharon
• 01:31:31says, know my worth and
• 01:31:33empower my clients to empower
• 01:31:35themselves and know their worth.
• 01:31:36And,
• 01:31:39Beverly has, I will give
• 01:31:40myself grace when I feel
• 01:31:41overwhelmed.
• 01:31:43Yeah. That I second that
• 01:31:44one.
• 01:31:46Maria says, thanks, Nikki.
• 01:31:47Yes. Give yourself grace. I
• 01:31:49was just speaking to my
• 01:31:50daughter-in-law
• 01:31:51because I was just visiting
• 01:31:53my grandbabies out in
• 01:31:55California
• 01:31:56last week, and I was
• 01:31:57getting opportunities to read story
• 01:31:59time. And my daughter-in-law text
• 01:32:01me this morning.
• 01:32:02Thank you so much for
• 01:32:03reading story time. I haven't
• 01:32:04done it in so long.
• 01:32:06I'm like, give yourself some
• 01:32:07grace.
• 01:32:08You know? You You're juggling
• 01:32:10a two year old and
• 01:32:11a six month old. Give
• 01:32:12yourself some grace,
• 01:32:14you know.
• 01:32:15And so that's really important,
• 01:32:18letting go all of that
• 01:32:19judgment from ourselves.
• 01:32:21Christy Fuller says connecting socially
• 01:32:24with other peers in my
• 01:32:25office to create a support
• 01:32:27network for us. Yes. Support
• 01:32:28is very,
• 01:32:29very necessary.
• 01:32:31Mhmm. And, Michelle Thomas says,
• 01:32:33I'm going to embrace all
• 01:32:34parts of Michelle that I've
• 01:32:36put away for safekeeping.
• 01:32:39I like that.
• 01:32:41Yes.
• 01:32:42Patrick says the power of
• 01:32:43sharing and vulnerability is un
• 01:32:45unmatched. So appreciated. The opportunity
• 01:32:48we have in every interaction
• 01:32:50to have a positive impact.
• 01:32:52Mhmm. And Jennifer Bailey says,
• 01:32:54I will be aware that
• 01:32:55my video matches my audio.
• 01:32:56Make sure I live what
• 01:32:57I am sharing.
• 01:32:59You you're doing well, Jennifer.
• 01:33:01Thank you for being here.
• 01:33:03And we will be sharing
• 01:33:04the video, so you, you
• 01:33:05know, you'll have the opportunity
• 01:33:06to to see anything that
• 01:33:08you've missed.
• 01:33:09Doctor Monique Clark says this
• 01:33:10session has relayed the spark
• 01:33:12for me as a CPRS
• 01:33:14and a y twelve SR
• 01:33:16peer. I will be making
• 01:33:18sure to spend more time
• 01:33:19with all of me again.
• 01:33:21Thank you.
• 01:33:22And, you know, and that's
• 01:33:23what it is. It's it's
• 01:33:24a falling and and, you
• 01:33:25know, falling. Right? You know,
• 01:33:27get going up, going down
• 01:33:28thing. You know? No judgment.
• 01:33:30When you notice that you've
• 01:33:32fallen, you know, you just
• 01:33:33get right back up. You
• 01:33:34keep going.
• 01:33:36Yes.
• 01:33:37Akila says, join my wholeness
• 01:33:39directly
• 01:33:40from the heart,
• 01:33:42space to empower all. Yes.
• 01:33:45Beautiful. Beautiful.
• 01:33:50Any more comments on on
• 01:33:52on there?
• 01:33:54Just beautiful. Thank you. Thank
• 01:33:56you, everyone.
• 01:33:57And, and, Sherry,
• 01:34:00if you could put the
• 01:34:04the
• 01:34:05the yes. Thank you. The
• 01:34:07Qualtrics survey back there at
• 01:34:08the end after all of
• 01:34:09the, you know, my so
• 01:34:12I I didn't introduce myself.
• 01:34:13I'm Mitzi Skye. I am
• 01:34:15a poet and a author
• 01:34:16and a human rights activist.
• 01:34:18And, today,
• 01:34:20when, you know, I'm I'm
• 01:34:21usually do a poem
• 01:34:23at the end
• 01:34:24of our session.
• 01:34:26And I was and sometimes
• 01:34:27I'll write something because I'll
• 01:34:28get inspired to write something
• 01:34:30or sometimes I find something
• 01:34:32old of mine
• 01:34:33that could match. But
• 01:34:35today,
• 01:34:36I, I didn't find what
• 01:34:38I found
• 01:34:40was, and I was so
• 01:34:41happy when I heard, Nikki
• 01:34:43mention Sonya Renee Taylor because
• 01:34:45I found a work
• 01:34:49I found a piece from,
• 01:34:51Sonya
• 01:34:52to read today just to
• 01:34:53I'm like, you know, I
• 01:34:54I I like to think
• 01:34:55to what what's gonna match
• 01:34:56what we're talking about, what
• 01:34:58we're sharing.
• 01:34:59And,
• 01:35:00so I was really excited
• 01:35:02when when Nikki mentioned Sonia
• 01:35:03because I picked a piece
• 01:35:04from Sonia today. And what
• 01:35:06I picked was, from her
• 01:35:08book, The Body is Not
• 01:35:09an Apology,
• 01:35:11The Power of Radical Self
• 01:35:13Love,
• 01:35:14and a new way ordered
• 01:35:15by love. The chap is
• 01:35:17chap it's, at page one
• 01:35:18forty, and it's title number
• 01:35:20four, a new way of
• 01:35:21order
• 01:35:22by love.
• 01:35:24A world for all bodies
• 01:35:25is a world for our
• 01:35:26our bodies
• 01:35:28is what she says. And
• 01:35:29it's it's it's not too
• 01:35:30long. It says, perhaps you
• 01:35:32have missed it thus far,
• 01:35:33but I have an agenda
• 01:35:34to which I am obnoxiously
• 01:35:36wedded.
• 01:35:37It's a simple agenda. I
• 01:35:39want to change the world
• 01:35:40by convincing you to love
• 01:35:41every facet of yourself radically
• 01:35:44and unapologetically,
• 01:35:45even the parts you don't
• 01:35:47like. And through this work,
• 01:35:48illustrate for you how radical
• 01:35:50love alters our planet.
• 01:35:52Radical self love is an
• 01:35:53internal process
• 01:35:54offering external transformation.
• 01:35:57How we show up to
• 01:35:58life reflects how we show
• 01:35:59up to ourselves.
• 01:36:01When we strip away the
• 01:36:02veneer of self reliance and
• 01:36:03individualism
• 01:36:05and allow ourselves to access
• 01:36:07our most vulnerable truth,
• 01:36:09we can't help but be
• 01:36:10heart beat present to the
• 01:36:11fact that our relationship with
• 01:36:13other bodies mirrors in tangible
• 01:36:15ways our relationship with our
• 01:36:17own body.
• 01:36:18Yes, we have been cutting
• 01:36:20and cruel to ourselves and
• 01:36:21have watched our internalized shame
• 01:36:24spill over into how we
• 01:36:26parents, how we manage employees,
• 01:36:28how we show up to
• 01:36:29friends and family.
• 01:36:31Yes. We believe that our
• 01:36:33bodies were too big, too
• 01:36:34dark, too pale, too scarred,
• 01:36:36too ugly, so we tucked,
• 01:36:37folded, hid ourselves away and
• 01:36:39wondered why our lives looked
• 01:36:41infantistimal
• 01:36:42intestinal
• 01:36:44intestinally
• 01:36:45smaller than what we knew
• 01:36:47we were capable of.
• 01:36:48Yes, we have been less
• 01:36:49vibrant employees, less compassionate neighbors,
• 01:36:52less tolerant of the bodies
• 01:36:54of others, not because we
• 01:36:55are bad people but because
• 01:36:57we are guilty of each
• 01:36:58of those accounts against ourselves.
• 01:37:01Our lens to the outside
• 01:37:02world is an interior lens
• 01:37:04projecting our experience
• 01:37:05in our bodies onto our
• 01:37:07external landscape.
• 01:37:08A shame clouded interior lens
• 01:37:10can only project shame and
• 01:37:11judgment.
• 01:37:12Employing a radical self love
• 01:37:14ethos is like squirting Windex
• 01:37:16on our daily lives.
• 01:37:18Suddenly we can see ourselves
• 01:37:19as employees or employers,
• 01:37:21as parents and friends, as
• 01:37:23neighbors and community members, as
• 01:37:25leaders, thinkers, doers, as humans
• 01:37:28distinctly connected to other humans,
• 01:37:31Applying radical self love to
• 01:37:32each facet of these roles
• 01:37:34and responsibilities
• 01:37:35alters the very fabric of
• 01:37:37humanity
• 01:37:38ultimately creating a more just,
• 01:37:40equitable,
• 01:37:41and compassionate world.
• 01:37:43And her radical reflection is
• 01:37:45the least compassionate politician
• 01:37:47and the most rigid authority
• 01:37:49figure are demonstrating to us
• 01:37:51how they are with themselves.
• 01:37:53We can practice compassion for
• 01:37:55them while demanding accountability
• 01:37:58from them.
• 01:38:02And that is missus Sonia
• 01:38:04Renee Taylor. Yes.
• 01:38:06Mitzi, they wanna know if
• 01:38:07you could put the name
• 01:38:08of the book in the
• 01:38:09chat.
• 01:38:10Yes. I I will. I'll
• 01:38:11put it in there.
• 01:38:12That was perfect.
• 01:38:16And,
• 01:38:17and so I also want
• 01:38:19to share,
• 01:38:21our our
• 01:38:23on June twenty six, our
• 01:38:24upper spiral, we're going to
• 01:38:25be having,
• 01:38:27Wednesday.
• 01:38:29Wednesday's
• 01:38:30her full name. I can't
• 01:38:32Wednesday rhyme ifrack who will
• 01:38:34be talking about, body justice
• 01:38:36and body liberation health at
• 01:38:37every size, anti diet culture,
• 01:38:39weight stigma, eating disorders, substance
• 01:38:40use,
• 01:38:42art therapy, body image, etcetera.
• 01:38:44And, and then I I
• 01:38:46I we have some more
• 01:38:47dates, seven thirty one, eight
• 01:38:48twenty eight. And and and
• 01:38:50then our last one on
• 01:38:51nine twenty five,
• 01:38:52it's gonna be an in
• 01:38:53person. The,
• 01:38:55we haven't picked a venue
• 01:38:56yet, but we are looking
• 01:38:57forward to having offers
• 01:39:00together
• 01:39:01and,
• 01:39:02and as as we continue
• 01:39:04this this work. So,
• 01:39:06so thank you,
• 01:39:09for,
• 01:39:10being here today. And please
• 01:39:11fill out the, Qualtrics
• 01:39:13survey.
• 01:39:17Mhmm. Alright. Let me, get
• 01:39:18the name of the book
• 01:39:19back in there.
• 01:39:26Thank you guys again for
• 01:39:27everything. So appreciative.
• 01:39:29No problem.
• 01:39:32We actually still have twenty
• 01:39:33minutes left.
• 01:39:36How am I gonna go
• 01:39:37back to work? I don't
• 01:39:38release so much. I had
• 01:39:40you know, I
• 01:39:42think uh-huh. Yep. Yep. Yep.
• 01:39:43That's what happens when you
• 01:39:45sit up on doctor Myers
• 01:39:46and listen to her.
• 01:39:48Oh my goodness. Thank you,
• 01:39:49everyone. This this this is
• 01:39:51good. I ate sufficiently for
• 01:39:52lunch.
• 01:39:56Thanks, y'all. Thank you so
• 01:39:58much.
• 01:40:01Alright. So I guess I'll
• 01:40:02go.
• 01:40:03Alright. You put the book
• 01:40:04up there?
• 01:40:05Yes. I could find a
• 01:40:06link if you want.
• 01:40:07Oh, maybe we could give
• 01:40:09it to Sherry when she
• 01:40:10puts it out, the surveys
• 01:40:10and stuff. Oh, yes. Yes.
• 01:40:11And then when they when
• 01:40:12they when you guys receive
• 01:40:13the,
• 01:40:14the videos,
• 01:40:16the lives.
• 01:40:19Alright.
• 01:40:20I just woke up early.
• 01:40:21We'll give you twenty minutes
• 01:40:22to have lunch, right, before
• 01:40:24you go back to work.
• 01:40:25I love it. Bye.
• 01:40:27Take care, everyone. We'll see
• 01:40:29you next month.